George W. Bush and Dick Cheney Have Resigned!!!
Dick Cheney has issued a statement:
"My administration has been a scam from the beginning. It's nothing but a trainwreck. The Iraqi invasion was based on lies. My tax cuts for the rich have crippled the treasury. I've undone forty years worth of labor and environmental protections. My insane foreign policy has turned the entire world against us.
"America will again be a great country in the future, but this will not be possible as long as I'm occupying the White House and fucking everything up.
"I can no longer live with myself. My sockpuppet and myself have been taken to an undisclosed location. We've made a suicide pact. Do not try to stop us. For the first time in our wretched lives, we're going to do the right thing."
Happy April Fools Day.