Who Hijacked Our Country

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

George W. Bush and Dick Cheney Have Resigned!!!

Dick Cheney has issued a statement:

"My administration has been a scam from the beginning. It's nothing but a trainwreck. The Iraqi invasion was based on lies. My tax cuts for the rich have crippled the treasury. I've undone forty years worth of labor and environmental protections. My insane foreign policy has turned the entire world against us.

"America will again be a great country in the future, but this will not be possible as long as I'm occupying the White House and fucking everything up.

"I can no longer live with myself. My sockpuppet and myself have been taken to an undisclosed location. We've made a suicide pact. Do not try to stop us. For the first time in our wretched lives, we're going to do the right thing."

Happy April Fools Day.


Blogger Miss Kitty said...

Ohhh, IF ONLY! :-) And I actually believed it for just a second. Damn.

April 1, 2008 at 6:41 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Miss Kitty: I guess that was mean of me to dangle that out in front of everybody and then yank it away. Yes, if only...

April 1, 2008 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger PoliShifter said...

Too bad it's only April Fools.

April 1, 2008 at 12:30 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

TOm, you are a cruel, cruel man.

April 1, 2008 at 1:15 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave, PoliShifter: Yes, that was pretty cruel. If only...

April 1, 2008 at 2:08 PM  
Anonymous proudprogressive said...

indeed Tom you are indeed cruel man. The sad part is that even if this were not a our dream verbalized in the prank , April is the cruelest month ..TS Elliot. WE have so much public policy work to do, a whole earmarked corrupt congress to clean up..the restoration of checks and balances. The re committement to fighting poverty through economic justice..so many cronies, in our government regulartory agencies..oh boy howdy - the resignation would just be a start. Obama will need a very VERY dynamic cabinet and be ruthless in his house cleaning of our federal agencies.

Public Service needs to be a high calling - demanding the highest integrity, and the modus operendi of protecting the greatest good for the greatest number of people.

And the fundi's need to hear loud and clear that progressive Christians have a seat at the table too, and its their turn to hold sway. That our work will only be just starting - is an understatement and this work will be state by state , town by town. Block by block.

Karma for Cheney and Bush is gonna be instant i got a hunch. They think they got away with this coup but - - - time will tell.

We the people can pursue justice even after they are "gone" out of office. This kind of perversion of our constitution cannot go un addressed..hell no they do not get to "fade away" - no way.

April 1, 2008 at 4:11 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Proudprogressive: You're right, there's a whole lot of cleaning up to do. Getting the current shitstain out of the White House will be just the first step. 8 years of corruption, environmental devastation, international destruction -- where to begin.

And we need to make sure our government can never get hijacked like this again.

April 1, 2008 at 4:47 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

What a cruel, cruel joke ;-)

April 1, 2008 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: Yes, I admit that was pretty damn cruel.

April 1, 2008 at 6:24 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

What would've been more cruel would have been Unka Dick canceling the election now as we start nuking Iran. Wait, that's already on tap. Nevermind.

April 2, 2008 at 6:33 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: That's true. Probably the wackiest April Fools post would be "next November's election will take place right on schedule."

April 2, 2008 at 9:35 AM  
Blogger Candace said...

Sweeeet. If only ...

Hey, I just heard some good news (for real): Obama has reduced Clinton's lead in PA to a single digit (and we know which digit that is, don't we? - sorry - couldn't help it, I'll be here all week.)

Anyhoo, the article I saw said Clinton's lead was largely due to her "dominance of the white vote." Bullfeathers! She didn't have the white vote in Iowa, where there are maybe like, three black people, and he trounced her there.

No, Obama's numbers have gone up in PA because he's campaigning there now and the people are getting to know him. Her lead is slipping in PA now because they are getting to know Obama, and they're comparing him to her. Duh.

April 2, 2008 at 11:56 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Candace: Yup, if only. That's great news about Obama. Hillary has turned into a caricature; this can't be good for her. Getting fired on when she was in Bosnia, comparing herself to Rocky -- LOL.

April 2, 2008 at 1:28 PM  
Blogger Ron Nasty said...

You know they ain't never goin' away, but one can wish, if you know what I mean.

April 2, 2008 at 7:15 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ron: We can wish. Then again, if wishing did any good those two assholes would've offed themselves seven years ago.

April 2, 2008 at 7:37 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Oh yeah - comparing herself to Rocky - didn't he like, lose? To the black guy?

April 2, 2008 at 9:13 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Candace: Good point. I hadn't even thought of that. That wasn't a very shrewd comparison for her to make, unless she unconsciously wants to lose.

April 2, 2008 at 11:27 PM  

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