Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, September 12, 2008

Sarah Palin: Not Ready For Prime Time

OOPS! What happened to my teleprompter? And all my scripts and slogans? And why didn’t that fuckin’ senile McCain tell me about the Bush Doctrine? Like, you know, what the hell is it? Hellooo??? I looked like a deer caught in the headlights when Charlie Gibson asked me if I agreed with the Bush Doctrine. All I could come up with was: “…[long pause with vapid smile]… in what respect, Charlie?” Doh! I didn’t know. That’s not faaaaiir!!!

And then I had to blurt out “Oooooohhhh, you can see Russia from Alaska.” AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!! It wasn’t supposed to come out like that. I am NOT an empty suit or a shallow cheerleader! What happened??? I’m a pit bull Goddamnit, not some scared little lost puppy. I want a do-over!

Charlie Gibson was mean to me, asking all those hard questions. I wanted to talk about Jesus and how to ban books from the Wasilla Library and how many people I’ve fired because I didn’t like them. And he keeps prattling on and on about, something about conducting raids in Pakistan, or Israel attacking Iran, or admitting Georgia and Ukraine into NATO so we can fight Russia…uuuggghhh!!! WhatEVer!

And next month I have to debate Joe Biden. And it won't be pre-recorded and released in little dribs and drabs during the Friday News Dump. It’ll be live. Oh God!

Joe Biden won't be mean to me, will he, like Charlie Gibson was? Will the questions be easy? Do I have to keep reading Foreign Policy For Dummies?? Christ! Boooorrring.

Hey, wasn’t Dumbya wearing a wire or something during one of his press conferences, or a debate, or something? So they could whisper the answers to him and he wouldn’t sound so retarded like he usually does.

Can they get me one of those things for my debate next month? Pleeeeaase???

(Here is a partial transcript of the interview. And here is a video of Part I (of three) of the interview.)

cross-posted at Bring It On!



Blogger Randal Graves said...

Jeez, if Charlie Gibson, a talking hairpiece can be confrontational - by the admittedly low standards of the modern media machine - should Biden, the actual opponent, tear her policy positions to shreds?

Pretty please, all you behind-the-scenes Dem chumps, let Joe be Joe, angry, fired up, all those good things.

The celebrity/successful woman mask is slowly being peeled away, but we've got to keep at it. America has the attention span of an MTV viewer.

And let's face it, Palin is the McCain ticket. People are excited about her way more than they are about McFossil.

September 12, 2008 at 12:27 PM  
Blogger rockync said...

I think the GOP had already written off this election and I think they knew that Palin would not hold up in the light of day. I think her appointment was meant to garner some media attention in the "shock & awe" mein. Mostly it's just schitck and ewwww.
Perhaps Putin might have a place for Comrade Sarah overseeing book burnings and filtering through media propaganda.

September 12, 2008 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: Sarah vs. Joe, no contest. It'll be like Mike Tyson squaring off against a 5-year-old boy with a bad hip. Take no prisoners Joe. No mercy.

You're right, McCain is kind of just a footnote.

Rockync: I hope you're right, that the GOP has written this off. That was what I thought until a week and a half ago, when Palin set the right wing on fire. Now everything is reversed. Obama is on the defensive and McCain/Palin are soaring in the polls. I hope this is just temporary.

September 12, 2008 at 3:16 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

You think she killed a few more animals to let some steam off because of this?

September 12, 2008 at 3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Tom,
I cringed when I watched the interview not so much because Charles Gibson was trying to act like a journalist but rather because someone this stupid is running for high office. If you are a strong supporter of Bush's policies, how can you not know what the BUSH DOCTRINE is? I'm so sick of assholes and rethuglicans thinking that this bimbo and that senile old fuck are ready to lead us into the future and save us from the horror of the past 8yrs.
I'm gonna go throw up now.


September 12, 2008 at 4:42 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

I thought about what Palin would've had to get through if she had been interviewed by Mike Wallace, David Brinkley or Ed Bradley in their prime, or even Charlie Rose or Jim Lehrer now.

Sort of like a tomato going through a Vegematic, I suspect.

I will give Palin a few points for being a fairly artful and resourceful dodger. She's not ready to be a vice president's staff assistant now, but she's no dummy and seems to have potential.

September 12, 2008 at 4:52 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

randal graves wrote: "America has the attention span of an MTV viewer."

Very harsh and very true.

rockync wrote: "I think the GOP had already written off this election . . ."

Say what?!?! Reality check: Republicans don't write off presidential elections. They could be running Tom DeLay and Larry Craig in a campaign financed with rubber checks, and they wouldn't write off this election.

I'm serious.

September 12, 2008 at 5:03 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: Ah yes, nothing lets off steam like pointing your high powered rifle at an endangered species and going BLAM! Undoubtedly her neighbors heard lots of gunshots that night.

Jo: She wasn't prepared for that interview, that's for sure. It's one thing to give a speech that's completely scripted and rehearsed right down to the last nuance, like her RNC speech. But even those softball questions in the interview had her sputtering. She's gonna get eaten alive if she doesn't get it together (which I hope she doesn't).

SW: Yes, "a tomato going through a Vegematic" is a good description. I think that's what she'll look like after her debate with Joe Biden. And she can't just stay sheltered between now and the election. Even the addled and numbed American public will start wondering what she's afraid of (I hope).

September 12, 2008 at 5:12 PM  
Blogger Mile High Pixie said...

Baahaha! Nicely done, Tom. I do hope Biden is just Biden and takes her apart just by being knowledgeable. I've found the best way to eviscerate an opponent is to simply be prepared. You don't have to insult them, just give them enough rope to hang themselves with. I have to say though, I'm more than annoyed at how some women are flocking to the Methuselah/Self-Loathing Broad ticket just because she's a she. Seriously, is that all it takes to attract women voters? If so, I cringe for my half of the human race.

September 12, 2008 at 7:51 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

MHP: I agree, it's alarming that so many women have switched over to the Republican side just because Palin is a woman. That's senseless. That's like blacks thinking Idi Amin was great just because he was black; or Asians automatically thinking Mao Tse Tung was great. So what if Roe vs. Wade gets overturned and we go to war with Russia -- at least it was a woman who did it. Go figure.

September 12, 2008 at 9:21 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

Tom I have been in shock after the interview given by Gov. Palin.

I'm also shocked that so many can't see that this woman is not ready to be VP of this country.

What is going on with us?

September 12, 2008 at 10:01 PM  
Blogger rockync said...

Sorry s.w. but here's a reality check for YOU:
The repugs are creating this hoopla and sucking the lib left right in. The reality is found in the voices at the above link. Most women aren't being taken in by Palin. In fact, the right is probably losing votes because of their choice.
The party will surely keep kicking and screaming to the bitter end but they know this election is probably going to tank.
Appointing Palin was not a brilliant stategy; it was an act of desparation.
By no means do I think the presidential race is in the bag, but I think all this will back fire on the repugs and I refuse to be drawn into the mass hysteria.

September 12, 2008 at 10:03 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Let's Talk: I hope that interview (and others that follow) is her undoing. It's bad enough that so many people got taken in by her RNC speech. But this interview was just inept. Any job interview candidate who performed like that would be told "well, thank you for coming in. We'll get back to you..."

Rockync: Interesting site. I don't really have any feeling either way right now about how the race will end up. But I was a lot more optimistic 2 weeks ago. I hope you're right that "the right is probably losing votes because of their choice." Let's hold that thought.

September 12, 2008 at 11:49 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

rockync wrote: "In fact, the right is probably losing votes because of their choice."

I absolutely hope you're right.

"The party will surely keep kicking and screaming to the bitter end but they know this election is probably going to tank."

Congressional Republicans have been reported as despondent about their prospects.

Beyond that, especially concerning the presidential race, I don't claim to be able to read Republicans' minds. I just know their history and M.O., They're all about anything to win, and if the going gets rough, they just raise more money, tell more and more-outrageous lies, and pull more dirty tricks. I also suspect they do more vote rigging and other skulduggery on election day.

The one thing Republicans don't do is throw in the towel.

September 13, 2008 at 1:26 AM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

Tome I snagged this snippet of someone's comment and a new term has been coined.

"Vpilf- vice president i'd like to f*ck."

Since I myself am an animal in the sack I'll have to respectfully decline. she might shoot me from a low flying aircraft as I'm on my way home from the tryst.

September 13, 2008 at 2:29 AM  
Blogger Ron Nasty said...

A thousand Republican monkeys are now sitting at a thousand Republican typewriters writing a thousand Republican zingers for Sarah Palin to use in her debate with Joe Biden. And when it's over, and Biden has torn her to shreds, that one zinger she is able to get across will be the only soundbite from the whole debate.

September 13, 2008 at 5:24 AM  
Blogger People in the Sun said...

I think she'll do better with Hannity.

"How do you react to Obama calling you a pig?"

"In what respect, Sean?"

September 13, 2008 at 8:30 AM  
Blogger Carlos said...

She is stunningly unqualified to be the second most powerful person in our country. Yet Americans are so fucking stupid they’d vote for a sloth if it would drink beer and go to church with ‘em. Did you watch Bill Maher the other night? Great show.

A quote from Salman Rushdie, who was responding to the Republican guest who was defending Palin’s lack of knowledge of the Bush Doctrine:

"She couldn't talk about an issue to save her life. She couldn't define the most massive foreign policy shift in the United States in a hundred years."

Here’s a quote from Maher to his Republican guest about the guest’s propensity to spew the party line, despite knowing it was complete bullshit:

"A cynic is someone like you; someone like David Brooks who knows better, but knows that the stupid people dont. They know that the dumb people don't and they know that they can get over on them"

September 13, 2008 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: I gotta agree with your description of Republicans' dirty tactics. Here's what they remind me of:

We've all seen those fight scenes in countless movies and TV shows, where 2 guys get into a bloody fistfight. The loser finally falls to the ground. While he's lying there, the winner turns his back and struts away, just as proud as he could be. The loser slowly gets up, sneaks up on the winner because his back is still turned, and suckerpunches him and beats the shit out of him.

In other words, we can't ever ever turn our backs on those Republican sleazebags.

Ricardo: Yup, that term vpilf is making the rounds on the 'net. She probably knows 1001 kinky things that couples can do with their guns. "ooooohh, Todd, you go get the whipped cream and I'll get the AK-47."

Ron: I'm sure Biden will cut through all of her scripted zingers. Those Republican monkeys aren't smart enough and there aren't enough of them.

PITS: Good one. She'll probably make the rounds of all those rightwing talk shows so she can be coddled and propped up.

September 13, 2008 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: Great quotes by Salman Rushdie and Bill Maher. I didn't see that show. There sure are some cynics running the political scene, and they're having a field day conning all the dunces.

September 13, 2008 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger American Hill BIlly said...

I very glad your taking an active stance in exposing this Palin Dominatrix. The shock journalism about her is great. Funny thing is most of it is true. To me, she looks like the real life version of Clark Kent, but what is the real face of a psycho?

Fox Noise has already been in the Non Spin Zone on this interview she did. Of course, she stomped butt!!! YEA BABY!! WHIP ME HARDER!! Yep, their saying she kicked butt, and Gibson asked the stupidest/most vague question of the century.....Of course, Dominatrix Palin answered this vague question the only way a "smart/sane" person could!!! Whooo!!! More war, and bear skin coats! Whooo!

United In Peace And Freedom

September 13, 2008 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

AHB: Yeah, I can't believe how the wingnuts are trying to spin this. She was great, she held her own, and that mean interviewer was just trying to make her stumble and falter. A bunch of shit. She's way out of her league, and the sooner the public figures this out the better.

September 13, 2008 at 4:33 PM  
OpenID virgomonkey said...

"Hey, wasn’t Dumbya wearing a wire or something during one of his press conferences, or a debate, or something? So they could whisper the answers to him and he wouldn’t sound so retarded like he usually does."

Was this really happening? If yes, I am so not surprised.

September 13, 2008 at 5:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heck didn't anybody see the Bush foreign affairs interview in 2000 where the only thing he knew was the president of Mexico?

Do you really think it matters? She may be Dan Quayle with legs but she still has legs and that's worth a few votes.

Biden better watch it because he can still be accused of "picking on a woman" double standard true but still used, you just watch.

G. Ferraro used it in her debate with GHW Bush and bullied him because he was afraid of coming off like that!

Course they accused her of being unladylike.


September 13, 2008 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Virgomonkey: I don't think they ever proved it, but it was alleged. I don't remember when; some sort of debate or press conference. It could be just a nasty rumor, but even so, it's Bush's own fault for being so clueless and uninformed that a story like that would be believable.

Erik: That's the scary part, that it doesn't even matter to the public. They'll see a debate where one candidate is clearly the winner, and it won't phase them. Then a sleazy TV ad comes out and millions of people go "oh my God, I didn't know that!"

"Dan Quayle with legs" -- LOL.

September 13, 2008 at 5:56 PM  
Blogger The Chemist said...

Let's not get cocky people. Remember we elected Bush TWICE. I'm not writing off the Repubs until the race is declared.

September 14, 2008 at 11:23 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Chemist: I'm not feeling a bit cocky or complacent right now. This sudden surge for the "What's-His-Name/Palin" ticket is scary. I hope it's just a post-convention bounce, but we'll see...

September 14, 2008 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

Thanks for letting us see into the mind (using the term loosely) of Sarah Palin. I have no doubt that is exactly what she was thinking.

September 14, 2008 at 9:53 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mauigirl: Yup, that psycho's mind is not a pretty sight, but we have to know what we're up against.

September 14, 2008 at 10:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, wasn’t Dumbya wearing a wire or something during one of his press conferences, or a debate, or something? So they could whisper the answers to him and he wouldn’t sound so retarded like he usually does."

It was the debate with Kerry, W sounded like he was talking to two people and a photo showed the outline of a transmitter in his coat. The Republicans said it was a "Wardrobe Malfunction"


September 15, 2008 at 12:35 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: Yeah, I Googled it after Virgomonkey's comment. So that's what made Dumbya sound almost intelligent during that debate with Kerry.

September 15, 2008 at 11:26 AM  
Blogger C said...

I'm almost positive I saw a box on Palin's back. There's a shot where you see her back from her left-hand side that shows it. Given the fact that she's actually giving answers during this debate, I'm not surprised. I just hope this time around the media actually picks up on it. Check it out. I think it was somewhere between 9:40 and 9:50pm EST.

October 2, 2008 at 7:24 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

C: I wouldn't doubt it. She sure seemed a lot more coherent than ever before, so maybe that's the explanation.

October 2, 2008 at 11:15 PM  

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