Sarah Palin: Not Ready For Prime Time
OOPS! What happened to my teleprompter? And all my scripts and slogans? And why didn’t that fuckin’ senile McCain tell me about the Bush Doctrine? Like, you know, what the hell is it? Hellooo??? I looked like a deer caught in the headlights when Charlie Gibson asked me if I agreed with the Bush Doctrine. All I could come up with was: “…[long pause with vapid smile]… in what respect, Charlie?” Doh! I didn’t know. That’s not faaaaiir!!!
And then I had to blurt out “Oooooohhhh, you can see Russia from Alaska.” AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!! It wasn’t supposed to come out like that. I am NOT an empty suit or a shallow cheerleader! What happened??? I’m a pit bull Goddamnit, not some scared little lost puppy. I want a do-over!
Charlie Gibson was mean to me, asking all those hard questions. I wanted to talk about Jesus and how to ban books from the Wasilla Library and how many people I’ve fired because I didn’t like them. And he keeps prattling on and on about, something about conducting raids in Pakistan, or Israel attacking Iran, or admitting Georgia and Ukraine into NATO so we can fight Russia…uuuggghhh!!! WhatEVer!
And next month I have to debate Joe Biden. And it won't be pre-recorded and released in little dribs and drabs during the Friday News Dump. It’ll be live. Oh God!
Joe Biden won't be mean to me, will he, like Charlie Gibson was? Will the questions be easy? Do I have to keep reading Foreign Policy For Dummies?? Christ! Boooorrring.
Hey, wasn’t Dumbya wearing a wire or something during one of his press conferences, or a debate, or something? So they could whisper the answers to him and he wouldn’t sound so retarded like he usually does.
Can they get me one of those things for my debate next month? Pleeeeaase???
(Here is a partial transcript of the interview. And here is a video of Part I (of three) of the interview.)
cross-posted at Bring It On!