Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, June 21, 2010

Texas Needs YOUR Help

This is probably the saddest story you’ll ever read. After you’re through reading about it, I just know you’ll delve into your savings account and donate everything you possibly can. Give ‘til it hurts; and then give some more.

As you probably know, the Texas Board of Education has approved some changes to their history textbooks. Finally — Praise The Lord! — Texas’ future students will no longer be brainwashed by those leftwing revisionist anti-American history books that have caused generations of Americans to hate their own country.

No longer will Joseph McCarthy be portrayed as some sort of “bad guy” for smoking out Communist infiltrators. The Atlantic Triangle Trade won’t be referred to any more with such crude, ugly terms as “the slave trade.” And that God-hating Thomas “separation of church and state” Jefferson will NOT be glorified any longer. In fact, he’ll hardly be mentioned at all. Hallelujah!

BUT — and this is the heart-wrenching part — the State of Texas is facing an $11 billion budget shortfall. Yes, you know what this means. What you feared most has come to pass: Texas schools can’t even afford to buy their own brand new sanitized whitewashed history books.

Please Help.

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14 Comments:

Blogger Demeur said...

The good part is that most other states can't afford to buy their books either.

June 21, 2010 at 7:33 AM  
Anonymous tim said...

Awww those poor kids..
Seems they could have a bake sale or a car wash...
I know, sell some of those's guns they have laying around collecting dust.
Not the good ones, like the automatics, Just the semi automatics.
I think that's what Gawd would want them to do.
Glad to help!!

June 21, 2010 at 8:37 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

I'm sure they will accept some of that hated federal money to do so.

June 21, 2010 at 10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure it wont help that California is working on a law banning the sale of those Texas Books

Erik

June 21, 2010 at 11:22 AM  
Anonymous squatlo said...

Wasn't their Governor ("Secession Sounds Like the Ticket!") Perry just bragging about turning down mega-millions in stimulous money? Didn't he tell DC to stick their cash where the sun don't shine? Now they're broke? Gee, makes me wanna max out a credit card...

June 21, 2010 at 12:22 PM  
Blogger T. Paine said...

I don't understand the problem. A majority of Americans were evidently "smart enough" to vote for Obama during the last presidential election, so evidently most of us are enlightened enough to understand that He is the one that was here to help us all for the common good of our evil, war-mongering, racist, homophobic, greedy nation.

I am still waiting for the oceans to recede though like Lord Obama said they would upon his being annointed to office.

June 21, 2010 at 12:26 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Maybe they could execute more prisoners. I'm sure the cost of housing so many of them will be saved and could be applied to the budget deficit. Plus just think of how many of them would be happy to die all in the name of education!

June 21, 2010 at 3:21 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

"No longer will Joseph McCarthy be portrayed as some sort of “bad guy” for smoking out imaginary Communist infiltrators."

Fixed. HTH. ;)

Re: the cash shortage for politically and religiously manipulated textbooks: Maybe this inability to afford the books is a sign from God that He doesn't like propagandizing schoolchildren.

June 21, 2010 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger Beekeepers Apprentice said...

LOL! The Irony! The Irony! I LOVE IT!! :)

June 21, 2010 at 4:49 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Demeur: That's free enterprise in action. Somebody makes a new product, and nobody buys it.

Tim: I guess they'll do what they have to do -- a bake sale, car wash, gun sale. If the Lord wants them to get the money, they'll get it.

TomCat: They're in a bind -- accept that evil commie stimulus money, or keep using them evil commie history books.

Erik: I think other states are doing that too. The more the merrier.

Squatlo: That poor Governor Perry. He might have to either max out his credit card, or borrow against his multi-million dollar mansion (courtesy of Texas' taxpayers).

TP: I'm not sure what your talking point (that all liberals worship Obama and think he's a saviour) has to do with the post.

Lew: Mass executions, there you go. That might be lucrative enough to pay for a few new textbooks.

SW: Or maybe Rick Perry could pull an Oral Roberts -- announce that God will "call him home" if there isn't enough money for these new textbooks.

Bee: Irony, ain't it great.

June 21, 2010 at 6:05 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

I was going to make a smarmy comment about sending them board game money, but then realized that would really cut into my Obama worshiping.

June 22, 2010 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

First Thomas Jefferson... and next I suppose they'll hammer on Ben Franklin, finding ways to make their "case" that for his day and age he was a "hippie" or some such thing.

If history does not support your political ideology and gets in the way of you furthering your flawed message, then it's easy... rewrite history!

Of course try to rewrite things with the goal in mind that if you succeed, 30 years from now guys like Thomas Jefferson will be reduced to footnotes, while entire chapters will be devoted to the glorification of Ronald Reagan, Milton Friedman and Ayn Rand.

It's really a shame about Texas... it could have been such a great state! LOL

June 22, 2010 at 9:49 AM  
Blogger Dave Dubya said...

If they'd jus up and secede they wouldn't need no rewritin' of US History. In fact they won't need no book learnin' t'all no more neither. That there's fer librool eleets anyway.

Rush'n Beck tell 'em all they need to hear. Obama's a Commie, racist and progressive, like Bush. Jus progressive like Bush, that is. They's the same thang, Bush and Obama, ceptin' that part about bein' a Commie racist. They's differnt from each other and the same, that is. Ceptin' Bush is the better president cuzin' we wanna have a beer with him. And he warn't no Commie racist like Obama. Not that racist is so bad if'n it's agin the kinda races what hate us. Oh, an Obama HATES Amurika and all the REAL Amurikins in it. Rush said so.

I reckon this here modern history I jus wrote should be in them books too. I'd even sell it to 'em cheaper, too. Afer all, that's what counts most. Cheapness 'an all.

I hope this helps the great Nation of Texas find their true course in history.

June 22, 2010 at 12:12 PM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

Such a shame for Texas...my heart bleeds for them.

June 22, 2010 at 2:54 PM  

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