Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Earth to Republicans: The Cold War is Over. We Won.

Republicans just have to recite their detailed in-depth philosophy — i.e., “No” — at every opportunity. Obama and Hillary Clinton are both pushing for the Senate to ratify the New START agreement between Russia and the U.S. This will require both countries to reduce their strategic warheads, and it will revive the inspections that used to be conducted under an earlier treaty.

But if you're a paranoid cold warrior, we only have enough nuclear weapons to annihilate every living thing hundreds of times over. We cannot ever reduce our stockpile — our security blanket! — or those evil Russians will attack us. Be very afraid!

Fear, and the burning desire to obstruct anything and everything — those are Republicans' two favorite drugs. And this time, they get to obstruct Obama AND Hillary at the same time. A peak experience! For anyone who’s within earshot of Capitol Hill, that bizarre sound you hear is a chamber full of Republicans having orgasms while shouting “NOOO!!!”

Or, maybe there’s another reason the GOP doesn’t want a treaty with Russia. Senator John Barrasso (R—Senile) has a dire warning for all of us:

We can never EVER trust the Soviet Union. Nikita Khrushchev says he will bury us! The Soviet Union is evil! The Red Menace! President Eisenhower must NEVER back down! Better Dead than Red!

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Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

We must forgive Borrasso. His state of Wyoming is so far off the beaten path that news the Cold War ended hasn't fully penetrated yet. Indeed, it's been said that in some parts of the state, folks think we're still at war with Japan.

Plus, in the interest of ensuring fat defense-industry — especially Halliburton — profits in perpetuity, a certain former vice president has taken pains to keep his fellow Wyomingites from getting the news.

Just the name, START, is enough to make true murkin patriots hinky. What kind of a name is that for an international agreement? Sounds like something some liberal-elite professor who rattles on about promoting peace must have come up with.

November 18, 2010 at 12:35 AM  
Anonymous Tim said...

That's too funny as I was talking with someone that the republicans are stuck in a time warp. Yeah they even brought back the John Birch society from the Koch brothers. Today it's called the tea party. hehehe
Next they will want to bring back the star wars project.

November 18, 2010 at 2:02 AM  
Blogger Beekeepers Apprentice said...

I think one of the most important components of the START treaty is that we get to keep some kind of tab on what happens to some of the obsolete stock in russia, to, you know, make sure it doesn't end up bought by...what are they called again? Oh yeah!


You know, to fight this treaty tooth and nail just to keep anything at all that the administration tries to do is foolhardy, stupid, spiteful, petty...and utterly dangerous in the long term. And by long term, I mean their long term, which is next week.

November 18, 2010 at 3:46 AM  
Blogger Suzan said...

Not the point really you know.

They want to ensure that the "spending" for developing/testing/etc. these weapons will never end.

This is how they make their money, sweetheart.

The clowns only dance when the moolah flows in from the "Arms Boys."

Love ya,


But if you're a paranoid cold warrior, we only have enough nuclear weapons to annihilate every living thing hundreds of times over.

November 18, 2010 at 9:53 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

This is precisely what Putin wants you to think. Eternal vigilance!

November 18, 2010 at 12:28 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: No doubt, perpetual profits for the "defense" industry is the GOP's main motive; plus, another chance to humiliate Obama.

You're right, the GOP would probably be in favor of the treaty if it had a more manly acronym.

Tim: I think some of them actually are pushing for Star Wars. One of them is that teabagger in West Virginia who didn't (thank God) get elected to the Senate.

Bee: If obsolete weapons ended up in the hands of the terrorists, the wingtards would blame it on Obama. You're right, long term means next week for those assholes. They're like 5-year-olds.

Suzan: Yup, trillions for "defense" spending, that's their top priority.

Randal: Da!

November 18, 2010 at 5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All the time it was the Soviet Union, they were calling it Russia. Now that it's really Russia...


November 19, 2010 at 1:27 AM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

The Rushpubliscums are stupid, and they can't govern, so a big bad enemy is an absolute necessity for them. If they can't scare the piss out of people, they have absolutely NO reason to vote Rushpubliscum.

November 19, 2010 at 6:05 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: That's one of those funny things about people's descriptions. Like some comedian was saying, when a natural disaster strikes, they say it looks like a war zone. When a place is devastated by war, they say it looks like a cyclone hit it.

JR: Yup, that's why the Republican Party is in such tight control right now. Between evil Russians, terrorists and the Homosexual Agenda, they've got millions of gullible dumbfucks scared shitless.

November 19, 2010 at 10:55 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Great minds indeed, Tom. Personally, I think Republicans prefer tension with Russia, because they want to get control of the natural gas in "the Stans" region.

November 19, 2010 at 10:58 AM  

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