Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Exhibit A: JPMorgan Chase

JPMorgan Chase — among others — almost sent the global economy plunging off a cliff in 2008.  Apparently it was so much fun, they want to do it again.  Or to paraphrase Chubby Checker, come on let’s crash and burn again like we did four summers ago.

When a pampered trust-funded fratboy takes the keys to the family Mercedes and crashes it, he doesn’t want to be told he has to give back the keys.  Some of these fratboys grew up (chronologically anyway), became Wall Street CEOs and almost collapsed the world economy.  And they’ve fought tooth and nail against ANY attempts to rein in the reckless behavior that caused the 2008 Meltdown.

And they’ve instructed their prostitutes in Congress to brainwash the public.  The 2008 meltdown was caused by too many government regulations.  This is just an excuse for Obama to take over your friendly neighborhood bank.  Etc.

And now JPMorgan Chase has kindly demonstrated exactly WHY we need to curtail Wall Street’s most reckless behavior.  Junior can have the keys to the family car — with certain stipulations — IF and only if he can clearly demonstrate that he’s learned how to drive.

As we all know by now, JPMorgan Chase lost $2 billion in a “trading blunder” which would have been prevented with the proper regulations.  Dodd-Frank is a start but it doesn’t go far enough.

Senator Carl Levin said JPMorgan Chase’s $2 billion “accident” was:

“…the latest evidence that what banks call 'hedges' are often risky bets that so-called 'too big to fail' banks have no business making.”

One of Wall Street’s favorite soundbites is that banking regulations would be too costly and the banks would have to pass on those extra expenses to the consumer.  Aw, isn’t that just the sweetest thing?  We all know how warm and fuzzy the big banks feel toward their customers.

In response to the above line of shit (and anyone gullible enough to swallow it), Barney Frank pointed out that JPMorgan’s $2 billion spasm cost them “five times the amount they claim financial regulation is costing them.”

He also said:

“The argument that financial institutions do not need the new rules to help them avoid the irresponsible actions that led to the crisis of 2008 is at least $2 billion harder to make today.”

The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) will be investigating JPMorgan’s $2 billion “oops I crapped my pants” moment.  Don’t hold your breath waiting for JPMorgan executives to start getting mass buttfucked by their fellow inmates at Rikers Island.

But it’s a nice gesture on the part of the SEC.

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Blogger Grung_e_Gene said...

Bankers wouldn't get the undue respect they garner today of they had to wear the traditional garb of those whom their actives most closely resemble. The Yakuza. Wall Street is one giant Yakuza gambling house and as such I demand instead of $5,000 dollar suits, Wall Streeters must wear Yakuza diaper suits to match the bs gambling they are doing...

May 12, 2012 at 1:20 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

So what's the hold up on the Volcker rule being finished, no need to answer. I can't seem to find anything other than, they have set up a committee to schedule a meeting to discuss another committee for meeting in the near future to maybe someday get around to doing something. That about right??? Oh and Tom prison rape, kinda gross imo, though some of these morons deserve to be punished I would not wish rape on anyone, even these vile creatures.

May 12, 2012 at 2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dodd-Frank would have also stopped this, but the Republicans are delaying it's implementation as well as submitting bills to gut it


May 12, 2012 at 10:03 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

Too Big to Arrest. And people wonder why things remain so f'd up in this country.

May 13, 2012 at 12:01 AM  
Blogger Mr. Charleston said...

These SOBs have turned the entire economy into a roulette wheel and our country into a casino. Trouble is, the wheel is rigged.

May 13, 2012 at 2:54 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Grung: Good comparison. I don't know much about the Yakuza other than the movie Black Rain. The Yakuza are probably more likely to live up to their word than Wall Street VIPs, but other than that...

Jess: Not so fast now. Before they conduct a study to determine whether or not to discuss the Volcker Rule at an unspecified future date, they'll need to call a meeting. But not until after the congressional recess...of 2014.

Erik: That's exactly what Republicans are doing -- delaying it and loading it down with loopholes. After it's loaded down, they'll complain that the bill is too big and cumbersome.

JR: "Too Big to Arrest," that pretty well sums it up.

Mr. C: Good summary. And most of us can't afford to gamble at this casino.

May 13, 2012 at 1:17 PM  
Blogger Mandelbrot's Chaos said...

The scariest part of this isn't that it happened, and it was allowed to happen. That's bad, but it's not the worst part of this sordid mess. It's that they still have no fucking clue where $2 billion went. That's pretty scary.

May 14, 2012 at 2:22 PM  
Blogger The Sanity Inspector said...

Quibble: J.P. Morgan was one of the firms who were "urged" by the federal government to backstop the failing firms in '08. They didn't cause the crash in that year.

May 20, 2012 at 11:14 AM  

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