Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, October 08, 2012

Mitt Romney: Foreign Policy Expert

As the saying goes — the less you know about a problem, the easier the solution is.

This explains why Mitt Romney is suddenly the world’s greatest living authority on America’s foreign policy, and why he’s able to pinpoint everything Obama has done wrong.

Spending one’s entire life in the sheltered world of Ivy League business schools, stocks, derivatives, mergers and acquisitions, private fundraising events — yup, that teaches you everything you need to know about America’s role in the ever more complex, more interdependent world of international relations.

After taking a quick glimpse at Foreign Policy For Dummies (the Cliff Notes version), Romney said:

“Hope is not a strategy…The attacks on America last month should not be seen as random acts. They are expressions of a larger struggle that is playing out across the broader Middle East — a region that is now in the midst of the most profound upheaval in a century. And the fault lines of this struggle can be seen clearly in Benghazi itself.”


“…It is the responsibility of our president to use America's great power to shape history—not to lead from behind, leaving our destiny at the mercy of events. Unfortunately, that is exactly where we find ourselves in the Middle East under President Obama.”

Pretty ironic, coming from the same dildo whose only foreign policy experience is a pomp and circumstance visit to London during the Olympics, which he managed to screw up by alienating England with his clueless comments.

Or as White House spokesperson Jen Psaki said:

“We're not going to be lectured by someone who has been an unmitigated disaster on foreign policy every time he's dipped his toe in the foreign policy waters.”

If you like Mitt Romney’s foreign policy expertise, stay tuned for the encore:  “The Complete History and Meaning of Stonehenge” by Clark Griswold.



Blogger jadedj said...

Sounds like winds of war to me...not surprisingly coming from the biggest windbag to come down the pike in many a day.

October 8, 2012 at 1:59 PM  
Blogger Mr. Charleston said...

Grizwald is one of my favorite authors. I can't wait for his new book. The last one, How To Win A War In 30-Days was a bell ringer. Just ask George Bush.

October 9, 2012 at 4:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

War will bring our economy back. I'm filling out my Halliburton application right now


October 9, 2012 at 11:07 AM  
Blogger Carlos said...

Great post!

"It is the responsibility of our president to use America's great power to shape history."

That sounds pretty Hitleresque in that context. WTF? Fuckin' idiot.

October 9, 2012 at 12:01 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

He is as up on foreign policy as I am, walking into my garage and thinking I know about Formula 1 driving, because I have a little sports car.

October 9, 2012 at 2:54 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

jadedj: A chickenhawk and a windbag; great combination.

Mr. C: Yes indeed, that was a great book, along with "Anatomy of a Cakewalk."

Erik: Sad but true, that's what boosts the economy.

Carlos: Yup, let the invasions begin.

Jess: I have a car too, which automatically makes me an expert on auto mechanics.

October 9, 2012 at 6:58 PM  

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