Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Fifteen Republican Senators Send Letter to Obama: Withdraw Hagel Nomination

We the undersigned are determined to obstruct and block every move you try to make, so you might as well give up on Chuck Hagel for Secretary of Defense.

Chuck Hagel is a veteran, a Vietnam war hero.  And that’s TWO strikes against him.  First, the defense secretary needs to be a chicken hawk, like us.  Keyboard warriors like us, we LOVE violence, bloodshed, war, that orgasmic thrill of watching American military forces penetrate deep deep deep into another country’s territory.  We’re scared shitless of any sort of violence if it’s directed at us, but we come all over ourselves when somebody else gets it.

Chuck Hagel knows first hand the horrors of war, and because of that he’ll be reluctant to invade Iran.  We, the proud members of the Chairborne Division, on the other hand, are champing at the bit to invade Iran, Mali, Venezuela, Ecuador, Syria…And we insist that the next defense secretary be a bloodthirsty chicken hawk, just like us.

Secondly, we hate veterans and war heroes because they’re tough manly men.  We all got picked on in gym class, and we hate these people.  We’re afraid of them, we’re jealous of them, and we sometimes entertain the wickedest sickest fantasies about them.  The atomic wedgies I got in high school would have been a lot more pleasurable if they’d been given by a studly hunk like Chuck Ha—

[ahem] getting a little off track here…

But most importantly, Mr. President — ugh!  I can barely bring myself to call him that — we’re blocking Chuck Hagel’s nomination because YOU nominated him, and we hate you.  If Chuck Hagel had been nominated by anyone other than your Kenyan Muslim Communist ass, we’d approve him unanimously.  But we’ll never ever get over the fact that you got elected President, and then re-elected.  We’re gonna spend the next four years stomping our feet, thrusting out our lower lips and trying to sabotage everything you do.

Cordially,

Marco Rubio, John Cornyn, James Inhofe, Lindsey Graham, Roger Wicker, David Vitter, Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Pat Toomey, Dan Coats, Ron Johnson, James Risch, John Barrasso, Tom Coburn, Tim Scott



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12 Comments:

Blogger jim marquis said...

These guys would block Eisenhower if Obama nominated him for secretary of Defense.

February 21, 2013 at 3:20 PM  
Blogger Jerry Critter said...

Just a bunch of guys with little dicks.

February 21, 2013 at 7:42 PM  
Blogger Life As I Know It Now said...

isn't vitter the guy who likes to wear diapers? thought so...:D

February 21, 2013 at 8:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't seen such shit since John Tower

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Tower

Erik

February 22, 2013 at 12:19 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

The only possible solution to this problem.

February 22, 2013 at 10:36 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jim: You're right, I think they just want to derail everything Obama tries to do. A nominee's qualifications have nothing to do with it.

Jerry: And they're willing to wreck the country just to compensate for their little problem.

Life: Yup, that's the one.

Erik: Interesting parallels. I had almost forgotten about him.

Randal: Talk about the solution being worse than the problem.

February 22, 2013 at 1:13 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

NOTE: My computer crashed yesterday and it'll be a few days before I can get it fixed. I don't have a smart phone or laptop or any of those other 21st century contraptions. I'll try to make it to a public computer periodically to check e-mail and publish comments, etc. but there'll be long delays between comments getting published or me visiting other blogs, etc.

February 23, 2013 at 2:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beats me why John Kerry who was "outed" by the "swift boat veterans" as a fraud passes the republican vote easily while Hagel, a bon-i-fide veteran, can't!


Erik

February 23, 2013 at 8:16 PM  
Blogger harry said...

Kerry IS a fraud

February 25, 2013 at 9:12 AM  
Blogger S.W. Anderson said...

If only those sorry excuses for senators would actually write something as candid about their real thoughts and motivations.

Tom, sorry to hear about your PC problem. Having been through a few such incidents I know it's no fun.

Harry, John Kerry is a fine, honest, dedicated and highly accomplished man who has devoted his entire working life to public service. If we dump on people like Kerry, we make way for more people like those who "signed" the letter in Tom's post. Maybe it doesn't matter to you, but I want to get people like them out of Congress, not people like Kerry.

February 25, 2013 at 9:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess you heard he's in


Erik

February 26, 2013 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger harry said...

SW - I will retract the accusation of fraud if I may.

Put it down to a bad day at the Ministry of truth.

February 26, 2013 at 11:32 PM  

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