Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, June 02, 2014

“Net Neutrality” vs. “Preventing Cable Company Fuckery”

No wonder the term “Net Neutrality” never gained any traction with the public.  John Oliver says the boring sleep-inducing words “Net Neutrality” should be replaced with “Preventing Cable Company Fuckery.”

He says this is a vital issue affecting all of us, but unfortunately “Net Neutrality” is “the only two words in the English language promising more boredom than ‘featuring Sting.’”

“Essentially it [net neutrality] means that all data has to be treated equally, no matter who created it. It’s why the Internet is a weirdly level playing field.  Start-ups can supplant established brands. That’s how Facebook supplanted MySpace, which supplanted Friendster, which supplanted actually having any friends. Do you remember physically having friends? It was awful. You couldn’t tap people’s faces to make them go away.”


“The Internet is currently not broken, and the FCC is taking steps to fix that...What’s being proposed is so egregious, activists and corporations have been forced onto the same side. That’s basically Lex Luthor knocking on Superman’s apartment door and going, ‘listen, I know we have our differences, but we have got to get rid of that asshole in apartment 3B.  He’s too loud, Supe, he’s too loud.’”

And he pointed out that FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler was previously the cable industry's top lobbyist.

“Yes. The guy who used to run the cable industry’s lobbying arm is now running the agency tasked with regulating it. That is the equivalent of needing a babysitter and hiring a dingo.”

So remember:  if the response you're looking for is a vacant-eyed auto-pilot “Huh,” say “Net Neutrality.”  If you want people to be properly fired up and outraged over their own Internet access, put it in terms of “Preventing Cable Company Fuckery.”

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Anonymous Jess said...

I saw a comment elsewhere today and it made a great point with two little words. Common carrier is what we want and they don't need to do any new regs on it since the phone companies are already being regulated as far as that goes. He is just brilliant on his new show. Loved this and the one with the scientists being brought in with the correct number for and against.

June 2, 2014 at 7:20 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: Earlier, the FCC chairman was threatening to do exactly that -- have ISPs classified as common carriers so they could be regulated like utility providers and phone companies. Some of the Powers That Be must have gotten to him.

June 3, 2014 at 10:13 AM  

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