Who Cares About Those Swarthy Icky Egyptians?? What Does This Uprising Mean for AMERICA???

Sick jokes aside, that’s exactly the “thinking” (using the term loosely) of millions of tiny-minded, self-absorbed bigoted Americans. “How does this affect ME?” “What about America’s future influence in the Middle East?” “Who lost Egypt?!?!?”

According to Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity and the dumbfucks who listen to them, Egypt is setting itself on fire just to piss off Americans. Damn it, our economy is just starting to improve, and now those lowly peasants over there have to start carrying on about something. What the fuck is their problem anyway??? OUR way of life is in jeopardy!

Nicholas Burns, one of Dumbya’s former henchmen, said:

“The consequences of instability in Egypt to the United States are really important. The strategic interests of the United States are on the line.”

Damn right. First things first. Who cares about millions of pissed off desperate people living on top of a powder keg? What about US???

It’s ironic that the same rightwing teabagfucks who are always shouting about “Freedom!” are now scared shitless that some of that freedom might actually be achieved by millions of lowly Third World peasants. “Are those people ready for democracy?” “Mubarak has been our staunch ally. We need him.” “What if their government becomes a Muslim police state?” “The Muslim Brotherhood!”

Part of the Right’s justification for invading Iraq — not that they actually meant any of it — was that we were sowing the seeds of democracy. The Iraqi war would be a cakewalk, and after that, little democracies would spring up all over the Middle East like flowers blooming on a dewy meadow.

And now, some of those democracies actually are blooming (not because we invaded and occupied Iraq). Only instead of delicate flowers, it’s millions of people marching and shouting and throwing rocks and Molotov cocktails at each other. WTF???

Democracy is supposed to be all neat and tidy and come wrapped in a pretty little ribbon. And most important of all, it has to meet Wall Street’s approval.