Godfearing Christians Murdered by Gangs of Militant Homosexuals

Damn those liberal judges!  I knew this was going to happen.

Here’s the background:  The Washington State legislature passed a law two years ago nicknamed “Everything But Marriage.”  Washington doesn’t have gay marriage, but this law gives unmarried gay couples most of the legal rights and protections of married couples.

A group of concerned Christians started a petition drive to overturn these special privileges for homosexuals.  Their referendum failed.  “Everything But Marriage” is still the law.  Gay rights activists wanted to see the names of the people who signed the petition.  And now, these people’s names have been released to the public, as ordered by U.S. District Court Judge Benjamin Settle.

The anti-gay petition signers had been trying frantically to keep their names secret, knowing how vicious these homosexuals are.  Well, no matter how terrified these Good Christians were, they had no idea what was in store.  As it says in the Good Book, “What I feared most came to pass.”

It’s been just awful.  Terrifying.  The petition signers’ names were just released yesterday, and already the mayhem has been unimaginable.  Countless Christians have been murdered by these homosexual brutes.  Nobody even knows the death toll; the number keeps going up every time there’s another newscast.

To add insult to injury:  Each and every one of these murder victims will have his/her funeral picketed by Fred Phelps since, after all, these people allowed themselves to be overpowered by a homosexual.

And the murder victims are the lucky ones.  Other less fortunate victims have been forced to look at gay pornography while being brutally sodomized by a vengeful homosexual.  And these victims’ wives and children were tied up and forced to watch.

So far these petition-signers have only been attacked at home.  But according to a secret memo from a homosexual terrorist group — which was leaked to the press — the petition signers will not be safe anywhere.  At work, at school, in church — the message said “No matter where you hide, we’ll find you.  And we’re gonna tie you up and do terrible horrible excruciating things to you.  And you will LIKE it!”

Oh God!  Who can we turn to?  Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, Jesse Helms — Help!

James Bopp, Jr. — The Biggest Douchebag You Never Heard Of

Most Americans — of all political stripes — think the Supreme Court’s “Bribery is a Family Value” decision was a crock. James Bopp, Jr. had been planning and engineering for years to get this issue brought before the Supreme Court.

He isn’t exactly a household name — Yet. But that’ll change. His “work” has just begun.

There are still some types of bribery that the Supreme Court hasn’t legalized yet. James Bopp, Jr. will fix that. Ultimately, he wants to legalize not only bribery itself — he wants the people making the bribes to stay hidden under their rocks. No public disclosure. No right to know. Those lowly peons don’t need to know why Congress suddenly voted against a law that most voters were in favor of. Or vice versa.

No more “follow the money.” No more microscopic letters at the bottom of your TV screen saying “this sleazy pack of lies was paid for by _____________________.”

But don’t worry, that’s a long ways off. It’s all part of his ten-year plan.

For now, the next phase of his ten-year plan will be heard by the Supreme Court today. He thinks that when somebody has signed a petition to get an initiative on the ballot, that person’s name should remain private. Presently, your name and address are public information when you sign a petition. You’re taking part in the political process. I wasn’t aware of that myself, but I’ve never signed any petition that I was ashamed of or wouldn’t want other people to know about.

This whole can of worms got opened last year in the state of Washington. The state legislature passed a law granting unmarried couples (which includes those wicked homosexuals) almost as many rights and benefits as married couples. Again, that’s Almost. Washington doesn’t have gay marriage. This law was nicknamed “Everything But Marriage.”

Needless to say, this was too much for the local snake-handling inbreds, who immediately got a referendum on the ballot to overturn “Everything But Marriage” and bring Washington back home to Jesus.

The referendum lost. Everything But Marriage is still the law, and the sky hasn’t fallen or anything.

But the can of worms was now open. A gay rights group created a website called Who Signed. If the referendum succeeded in overturning Everything But Marriage, they were going to display the names and addresses of the petition signers on their website. Again, this is already public information under state law.

Anyway, the "I'm a bigoted sickfuck but I don't want my friends to know" Brigade is getting their day in court. The Supreme Court will hear the opening arguments sometime today. They’re expected to make their ruling this summer.

When Homophobes Get Outed

That’s right, yank those bigots out of the closet. Lift up that rock and let the sunlight bore in and wilt those hatemongers.

The Washington state legislature has passed (and the governor has signed) a law known as “Everything But Marriage.” It gives gay couples all of the rights and benefits enjoyed by married couples, but officially it isn’t marriage.

As soon as the law was passed, a “Christian” hate group reared its head, determined to overturn this Satanic law at the ballot box. Referendum 71 has until late July to get the required number of signatures to qualify for an initiative next November.

The “Everything But Marriage” law is now on hold until the late July deadline, if there aren’t enough signatures. If the petition does get enough signatures, then the law will be on hold until after the results of the November election.

And this is where the plot thickens: a gay rights group has created a website which will reveal the names of everybody who signed the petition to overturn Everything But Marriage.

Gotcha! Come on, time to come out blinking into the sunlight and show us who you are.

The website is called WhoSigned.org.

This is just too poetic. There’s a certain vindictive pleasure in seeing a small-minded bigot get yanked out of his hiding place and revealed to the world. Show your face, Redneck!

But is this right? What if the shoe was on the other foot?

I personally can’t think of any petition I’ve ever signed that I’m ashamed of and wouldn’t want anybody else to find out about. But still, this could be a slippery slope.

What say you?

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Washington’s Version of the Salem Witch Hunts

The State of Washington doesn’t have gay marriage. The state provides some benefits for gay civil unions, and just this year the state legislature passed a law expanding the rights and benefits for domestic partnerships. The law is nicknamed “Everything But Marriage.”

Because of the economic meltdown, benefits that would be covered by taxpayers are being delayed until the economy improves. So, gay couples can have most (and soon all) of the rights and benefits of married couples, but it isn’t called “marriage.” Everybody’s happy. Right?

Never ever ever underestimate the petty meanness of a gang of Biblehumpers looking for a scapegoat. Their hatred and bigotry are exceeded only by the huge amount of free time they obviously have.

The Washington Values Alliance is collecting signatures to put a referendum on the state ballot next November, which would overturn the “Everything But Marriage” law.

Here’s another link to the group.

If they collect enough signatures — they have until July 25th — the “Everything But Marriage” law will be delayed until after the November election (and that’s assuming the referendum gets defeated by voters).

The Washington Values Alliance president, Larry Stickney, was preoccupied and unavailable for comment. Several other members of the group were also a little, uh, busy.

Several “Christian” organizations tried to defeat Washington’s assisted suicide referendum last November; it passed by a landslide. Here’s hoping these busybodies can’t collect enough signatures for their current flamefest. If they do, their referendum will hopefully get trounced by the voters next November.

cross-posted at Bring It On!