Why Senator Mike Johanns Needs to be Repeatedly Cock-Punched

Sorry to be stealing one of The Rude Pundit’s favorite phrases.

But this asshole from Nebraska is too contemptible for words. The Senate finally broke a Republican filibuster (one of dozens) and has agreed to consider legislation providing tax credits for small businesses. The bill would also provide a $30 billion fund for loans to small businesses.

The two Republican “traitors” who broke the filibuster — George Voinovich and George Lemieux — are both retiring, so rightwing powerbrokers won’t be able to retaliate against them.

Anyway, Senator Marie Antoinette “Mike” Johanns (R—Douchebag) said:

“Small businesses need another loan like they need a kick in the pants.”

Any small business owners still planning to vote Republican this November?

Still More Republican Lies About Health Care Reform

Every time the Republicans recite the bullshit their HMO puppetmasters tell them to recite, the lie gets refuted over and over. And like a cat that keeps jumping up on the table no matter how many times you push him off, the Republicans keep coming back with more intelligence-insulting lies to the American people. Is anybody still listening?

Yesterday’s weekly GOP radio/internet address was delivered by Republican Nebraska Sen. Mike Johanns. His health insurance johns instructed their prostitute to keep spewing out their same old talking points, and Senator Johanns performed his assigned task as ordered.

If repeated lies could be physically transformed into fecal matter, Senator Johanns’ mouth would look like a whale with explosive diarrhea.

“To the factory worker, who has forgone pay raises for the promise of better insurance benefits for you and your family: your health insurance will be taxed and your premiums will go up.”

“To the recent college graduate burdened with student loans: you'll be forced to buy health insurance the government mandates, and if you refuse, you'll be hit with a penalty.”

“To our seniors, who wish to receive care in the comfort of their homes: funding for hospice care and home health care services would be cut.”

First of all, if you actually believe the Republican Party gives a flying fuck about factory workers, senior citizens or recent college graduates (unless they’re MBAs on their way to Wall Street) — I can get you a great deal on some oceanfront property in Kansas.

And who exactly still listens to the GOP weekly address? Does their audience include ANYBODY whose parents aren’t first cousins???

Uh oh, Senator Johanns forgot to mention Death Panels, and the thousands of Canadian citizens who are dying on the Emergency Room floor every week while they wait and wait and wait for some faceless socialist bureaucrat to help them.

Maybe the most blatant Republican lies are being quietly taken out of circulation. But they keep coming up with new ones, and there's always a new battalion of inbreds who will believe them.