NRA alert: Obama is NOT planning to Take Away Our Guns!!!

All right, that does it!!!  That sneaky Kenyan Muslim president of ours has gone too far this time.  Obama is, is [sputter] He’s NOT going to take away our guns!

What?!?!?!?  It’s a conspiracy!  He’s got something up his sleeve; I just know it.  Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, has brought us this dire warning (the linked article has his speech on YouTube):

“The Obama campaign will say gun owners — they’ll say they left them alone.  In public, he’ll remind us that he’s put off calls from his party to renew the Clinton assault weapons ban, he hasn’t pushed for new gun control laws… The president will offer the Second Amendment lip service and hit the campaign trail saying he’s actually been good for the Second Amendment.  But it’s a big fat stinking lie!  It’s all part of a massive Obama conspiracy to deceive voters and destroy the Second Amendment in our country.  Obama himself is no fool. So when he got elected, they concocted a scheme to stay away from the gun issue, lull gun owners to sleep and play us for fools in 2012. Well, gun owners are not fools and we are not fooled.  Sotomayor, Kagan, Fast & Furious, the United Nations, executive orders. Those are the facts we face today… President Obama and his cohorts, yeah, they’re going to deny their conspiracy to fool gun owners. Some in the liberal media, they are already probably blogging about it. But we don’t care because the lying, conniving Obama crowd can kiss our Constitution!”

Which “Constitution” is that — The one that says corporations are people, money equals speech and fetuses are sacred?

In a related story:  there’s been a shocking horrifying discovery that Obama’s Affordable Care Act does NOT contain any Death Panels.  What an outrage!!!

Teabaggers — it’s time to take our country back!