Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, September 23, 2011

NRA alert: Obama is NOT planning to Take Away Our Guns!!!

All right, that does it!!!  That sneaky Kenyan Muslim president of ours has gone too far this time.  Obama is, is [sputter] He’s NOT going to take away our guns!

What?!?!?!?  It’s a conspiracy!  He’s got something up his sleeve; I just know it.  Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, has brought us this dire warning (the linked article has his speech on YouTube):

“The Obama campaign will say gun owners — they’ll say they left them alone.  In public, he’ll remind us that he’s put off calls from his party to renew the Clinton assault weapons ban, he hasn’t pushed for new gun control laws… The president will offer the Second Amendment lip service and hit the campaign trail saying he’s actually been good for the Second Amendment.  But it’s a big fat stinking lie!  It’s all part of a massive Obama conspiracy to deceive voters and destroy the Second Amendment in our country.  Obama himself is no fool. So when he got elected, they concocted a scheme to stay away from the gun issue, lull gun owners to sleep and play us for fools in 2012. Well, gun owners are not fools and we are not fooled.  Sotomayor, Kagan, Fast & Furious, the United Nations, executive orders. Those are the facts we face today… President Obama and his cohorts, yeah, they’re going to deny their conspiracy to fool gun owners. Some in the liberal media, they are already probably blogging about it. But we don’t care because the lying, conniving Obama crowd can kiss our Constitution!”

Which “Constitution” is that — The one that says corporations are people, money equals speech and fetuses are sacred?

In a related story:  there’s been a shocking horrifying discovery that Obama’s Affordable Care Act does NOT contain any Death Panels.  What an outrage!!!

Teabaggers — it’s time to take our country back!

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Jess said...

Do these people not know, not only has he not sent the gay stormtroopering, baby killing, puppy biters dressed in thongs backwards, to take away their guns, he actually expanded some rights to be able to take them into I dunno, national parks and shit. Damn what dumbasses these cretinous takers up of oxygen are.

September 23, 2011 at 2:22 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

LaPierre is highly PO'd because Obama's lack of gun-confiscating zeal is costing him and the NRA big bucks.

The real conspiracy NRA hucksters don't talk about is the one where they exploit even the faintest, slightest, most tentative suggestion of some wee, small limitation on gun owner's rights. Say, just kicking around the possibility of someday banning loaded weapons from kindergarten classrooms and Chuck E. Cheese's, when children's parties are being held. You know, outrages against the Second Amendment like that.

With nothing to blow up into an all-out assault on gun owners' rights, the phones aren't ringing. USPS isn't making double dumps of checks in the mail from paranoid members. And, in these cash-strapped times, membership is probably lagging.

So yeah, LaPierre and his NRA crackpots are angrier than ever at Obama. He's making their worst nightmare a reality.

September 23, 2011 at 4:20 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

I think it's ironic that the Republicans have simultaneously worked to destroy the middle class and bolster gun rights. That could end proving to be a bad decision some day.

September 23, 2011 at 7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You said it SW

Erik

September 23, 2011 at 7:06 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: You've got 'em dialed. "Cretinous takers up of oxygen" -- my sentiments exactly.

SW: That's exactly it. Gun owners aren't paranoid enough (since they have no reason to be) and the donation checks are probably dwindling. It's Obama's fault.

J: You're right, this combination could have some volatile results.

September 23, 2011 at 7:54 PM  

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