Who Won the Iraqi-American War? Iran.

This article — by Gary Brecher — makes a lot of sense. Iran’s two worst enemies have been slugging it out for over four years now. What’s not for Iran to love?

Iran probably didn't plan any of this, but things couldn’t be working out any better for them if they had directed every detail. The ideal way to invade a country is by using a proxy instead of your own forces. Remember our own rightwing terrorists (oops, sorry, I mean “Freedom Fighters”) fighting in Nicaragua in the 1980s? We sure showed the Iranians how to do it.

Again, Iran probably didn’t plan or intend for us to invade Iraq. But like Gary Brecher says, “From the enormous advantage gained by Iran via our invasion of Iraq, you would think that Dick Cheney is a mole for the Ayatollah.”

Iran’s main rival has now been obliterated and the Shiites (the majority sect in Iran) have the upper hand in Iraq. And we've “provided Iran with a risk-free laboratory to spy on American forces in action.”

According to Brecher, Iraq is like a nuclear reactor that Iran can control by inserting and removing control rods. He says:

“They need to keep us there, because — makes me sick to say it but it's true — our troops are now the biggest, strongest control rod the Persians are using to set the temperature of this war. They want us there as long as possible, stoking the feuds and making sure nobody wins.”

Another benefit of a long bloody regional war is the money and supplies that come pouring into neighboring countries. Iran (and Syria) must have tons of money and supplies coming into their border provinces. As Brecher says, “Need any U.S.-issue supplies, weapons, toilet paper, or global positioning system units cheap? Just ask at any bazaar in Damascus or Tehran. Uncle Sam's guarantee of quality — fell off the back of a two-and-a-half ton truck.”

The Vietnam war — with all the money pouring into the region — helped transform Thailand from a feudal backwater into a bustling tourist magnet and major economic power. Looks like the Iraqi-American war will be providing the same benefit for Iran and Syria. We sure know how to sock it to our enemies.

Dick Cheney: Crawl Back Into Your Hole and Stay There

This past Tuesday must have been Bash Dick Cheney Day. Our illustrious leader probably wishes he had never poked his head out of his cubbyhole. That’s probably what everybody wishes.

During an argument in the Senate about continued funding for Iraqmire, Cheney accused Senator Harry Reid of “defeatism.” Reid fired back with "I'm not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody that has 9 percent approval ratings." Pow! Give ‘em Hell Harry!

On the same day, George McGovern had a column responding to Cheney’s recent attacks on him. Some of the highlights include:

“In the war of my youth, World War II, I volunteered for military service at the age of 19 and flew 35 combat missions, winning the Distinguished Flying Cross as the pilot of a B-24 bomber. By contrast, in the war of his youth, the Vietnam War, Cheney got five deferments and has never seen a day of combat — a record matched by President Bush.”

“We, of course, already know that when Cheney endorses a war, he exempts himself from participation. On second thought, maybe it's wise to keep Cheney off the battlefield — he might end up shooting his comrades rather than the enemy.”

Cheney, McGovern and Reid are scheduled to go quail hunting next (to be continued)

Iraq vs. Vietnam

This columnist is saying “A generation ago, Vietnam blew up politics as we knew it. Why isn’t that happening now?” Then he answers his own question by saying the Democrats haven’t offered any solutions yet. He says “Democrats haven’t fashioned a compelling (even to themselves) alternative to George W. Bush’s world view. Unless they do, they could lose in 2008.”

Regardless of whether that’s true, there's another reason Iraq hasn’t blown up in our faces. We don’t have a draft any more. At least technically we don’t. (Although, with the same “volunteers” being herded back to Iraq again and again and again, even after their doctors have declared them medically unfit for battle — but I digress…)

The Vietnam War had its share of chickenhawks —Cheney, Wolfowitz and all the rest of those pathetic armchair warriors at Project For A New American Century. But they had to work for it. They had to constantly make sure their draft status didn’t change to 1A. The most reliable way to keep from getting drafted was to stay in college — even if it meant getting Ph.D.s in twelve different subjects. At one time being married would keep people from being drafted, but that changed sometime during the Vietnam war. After they changed it, you could be drafted even if you were married with children. And the number of occupations that were “draft-safe” kept on shrinking.

So it was a constant struggle if you wanted to be a chickenhawk, and it made for some awkward contradictions. “We need to keep fighting over there and do whatever it takes to keep the Communists from taking over uh oh I just got a letter from my Draft Board, I have to go straighten this out right away. Oh God…”

Today’s chickenhawks, on the other hand, only have to do one thing to stay out of the military: Don’t enlist. It doesn’t get any easier than that.

A tiny percentage of America’s population — service members and their families — is gravely affected by the Iraqi war. It’s the center of their lives; it’s turning their lives upside down. Meanwhile, the other 99% (just guessing at the number) can just go on about their routines, totally unaffected by the war. They might argue about it, but they aren’t contributing anything to it and they aren’t inconvenienced by it.

And THAT is why Iraq hasn’t “blown up American politics.”

They Helped Us During the Vietnam War, Then We Dumped Them

As you know, the French helped us during the Revolutionary War. Without them, we might’ve lost the war and become just another British colony. 230 years later we've turned against France with a vengeance, just because of a disagreement over Iraq. The French have pretty much been reduced to a caricature — a bunch of finicky wine-sipping surrender monkeys.

The Hmong (a mountain tribe from Southeast Asia) have gotten a much shorter grace period. They fought on America’s side during the Vietnam War. They were ferocious fighters who made a huge difference to our troops. And now they're being kept out of the United States because they might be “terrorists.”

Because of the Patriot Act and the Real ID Act, the Hmong are technically categorized as “terrorists” because of their secret war against the Laotian Communists almost 40 years ago.

The director of a Hmong advocacy group said “Thousands of Hmong veterans and family members are threatened with potential deportation down the road. And there is a clear and present danger they cannot be naturalized in a timely manner.”

Another spokesperson said “Clearly, it’s absurd that people who fought with us — people who have received special exemptions from the law precisely for that conduct — should be barred from coming to the U.S. as refugees as a result of that conduct.”

Ready, all together now: They hate us for our freedom.