Calling all Chickenhawks: Only YOU can Prevent a Draft

The Army’s new Chief of Staff wants to increase the number of active duty soldiers by 65,000. And he wants this done ASAP. If you're part of the Chairborne Division, you’re probably thinking “hey no problem, they can just raise the enlistment age.” OOPS — been done already. 42 and climbing.

Maybe they could lower their standards for education. Or, heck, physical fitness isn't all it’s cracked up to be. How important is it to be able to do a pushup or walk without getting winded? Or, uh, they could be less picky about drug addiction and criminal records. Check. It’s all been done.

Every 300-pound couch potato with a police record, a drug habit and no education who might want to enlist — probably already has. Uh oh. If you're one of those badass keyboard warriors who wants to keep fighting to the last drop of somebody else’s blood: Uncle Sam wants YOU. Step slowly away from your computer and come out blinking into the sunlight.

If thousands of chickenhawks and Yellow Elephants don’t start enlisting SOON — I predict (don’t shoot the messenger) that President Cheney and Vice President Jeb will bring back the draft in January 2009.

Iraq vs. Vietnam

This columnist is saying “A generation ago, Vietnam blew up politics as we knew it. Why isn’t that happening now?” Then he answers his own question by saying the Democrats haven’t offered any solutions yet. He says “Democrats haven’t fashioned a compelling (even to themselves) alternative to George W. Bush’s world view. Unless they do, they could lose in 2008.”

Regardless of whether that’s true, there's another reason Iraq hasn’t blown up in our faces. We don’t have a draft any more. At least technically we don’t. (Although, with the same “volunteers” being herded back to Iraq again and again and again, even after their doctors have declared them medically unfit for battle — but I digress…)

The Vietnam War had its share of chickenhawks —Cheney, Wolfowitz and all the rest of those pathetic armchair warriors at Project For A New American Century. But they had to work for it. They had to constantly make sure their draft status didn’t change to 1A. The most reliable way to keep from getting drafted was to stay in college — even if it meant getting Ph.D.s in twelve different subjects. At one time being married would keep people from being drafted, but that changed sometime during the Vietnam war. After they changed it, you could be drafted even if you were married with children. And the number of occupations that were “draft-safe” kept on shrinking.

So it was a constant struggle if you wanted to be a chickenhawk, and it made for some awkward contradictions. “We need to keep fighting over there and do whatever it takes to keep the Communists from taking over uh oh I just got a letter from my Draft Board, I have to go straighten this out right away. Oh God…”

Today’s chickenhawks, on the other hand, only have to do one thing to stay out of the military: Don’t enlist. It doesn’t get any easier than that.

A tiny percentage of America’s population — service members and their families — is gravely affected by the Iraqi war. It’s the center of their lives; it’s turning their lives upside down. Meanwhile, the other 99% (just guessing at the number) can just go on about their routines, totally unaffected by the war. They might argue about it, but they aren’t contributing anything to it and they aren’t inconvenienced by it.

And THAT is why Iraq hasn’t “blown up American politics.”

Blogs For Bush

Hat Tip to PoliShifter at Pissed On Politics for inspiring this post. Yes, it’s another post about chickenhawks; keyboard warriors; the Chairborne Division. With Bush getting ready to surge all over Iraq, this is more of a sore subject than ever.

The editor of Blogs For Bush, Mark Noonan, wanted to re-enlist after the 9/11 attacks. (He had already spent four years in the Navy.) Alas, he was unable to re-enlist because of his age; he was too old. He’s 42 years old — he turns 43 next November.

But wait — the good news is: the enlistment age has been raised to 42. Mark will now be able to re-enlist after all, if he hurries. Isn’t that great?!?!?! You Go Mark!

Blogs For Bush has been spewing out Neocon drivel since October 2003. Saddam Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction. Iraq was connected with the 9/11 attacks. Hussein was closely allied with al Qaeda. Our mission in Iraq is to bring democracy. Etc.

Special Bonus: If you're an unattached wingnut and you're looking for that special someone, check out their section on Conservative Singles. Their motto is “Sweethearts not bleeding hearts.” Ain't that romantic.

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UPDATE: Please sign this online petition to send Mark Noonan to Iraq. (Hat Tip to Whisperwolf.)