Watch What They Do, Not What They Say

The more things change…Every day we have another prominent Republican speaking out against Bush and Iraqmire. And every time there's another vote in Congress, they all march in lockstep and vote in favor of whatever Bush wants. This is getting old.

These two-faced assholes seem to think they can keep fooling the American people by acting “moderate” in public and then privately voting for everything Bush wants. The scary part is, maybe they can. Maybe our Paris Hilton-obsessed American Idol-addled population doesn’t notice.

Sure it’s nice to have all these tell-all books getting published, with one former Bush henchman after another coming out and telling us what it was like working for those douchebags. And it’s great that Hagel, Specter, Lugar, Voinovich — among others — have publicly criticized the Bush Administration.

But what does it all add up to? A vote to reduce funding for Iraqmire — Defeated. A no-confidence vote against Electrodes Gonzales — Down in flames. Eliminating funding for the vice president’s executive office budget (a logical decision since Cheney is claiming he's above the law because he ISN'T part of the executive branch) — Defeated. Etc.

And now there'll be a vote on whether to close Guantanamo Bay by cutting off funding. Three guesses on how the invertebrates will vote.

We The People spoke out last November. We put the Democrats in charge of the House and Senate because we've had enough of this shit. Democrats are in charge now, more and more Republicans are speaking out against the Bush Administration — and what’ve we got to show for it?

Congress — 535 people, four spines.

Suddenly All Of Our Enemies in Iraq Are “Al Qaeda”

With Bush plummeting further and further in the polls and Iraqmire being more disastrous than ever, our “leaders” have come up with a new spin. Since the public is still rightfully concerned about al Qaeda — Presto! Every enemy combatant that we've killed or captured in Iraq is now a high-ranking member of al Qaeda.

Isn't that great? We’re winning! Freedom is on the march! At this rate we'll be capturing Osama bin Laden any day now.

Without any changes in military strategy or any new intelligence information, yesterday’s “insurgents” have suddenly become today’s al Qaeda members. If you can't win, the next best option is to redefine all the terms.

It’s bad enough that the Pentagon is putting on this charade. Even worse — the “media” is marching right along in lockstep, dutifully re-christening all “insurgents” and “enemy combatants” as “al Qaeda.” The New York Times recently used the term “al Qaeda” nineteen times in an article describing American battles in Iraq.

These are desperate times. Bush and Cheney have constantly fallen back on generic terms like “terrorists” whenever they wanted to arouse mass paranoia. If some pesky reporter asks why we invaded Iraq — “the war on terror,” “fighting them over there so we don’t have to fight them over here,” etc.

But referring specifically to al Qaeda just to push the right emotional buttons — this was always a level that even Bush wouldn’t stoop to. Until now.

Here is another example of a “news” story “reporting” on our war against "al Qaeda" in Iraq. We've all noticed the gradual change in the “media” as they’ve deteriorated from Watchdog to Lapdog. The mutation is now complete.

And here is another article on Bush’s desperate attempts to create the illusion of victory in Iraq by renaming and redefining everything.

For a larger view of the Bush Administration's history of lying, spinning and redefining, take this quiz. Had enough?

Who Won the Iraqi-American War? Iran.

This article — by Gary Brecher — makes a lot of sense. Iran’s two worst enemies have been slugging it out for over four years now. What’s not for Iran to love?

Iran probably didn't plan any of this, but things couldn’t be working out any better for them if they had directed every detail. The ideal way to invade a country is by using a proxy instead of your own forces. Remember our own rightwing terrorists (oops, sorry, I mean “Freedom Fighters”) fighting in Nicaragua in the 1980s? We sure showed the Iranians how to do it.

Again, Iran probably didn’t plan or intend for us to invade Iraq. But like Gary Brecher says, “From the enormous advantage gained by Iran via our invasion of Iraq, you would think that Dick Cheney is a mole for the Ayatollah.”

Iran’s main rival has now been obliterated and the Shiites (the majority sect in Iran) have the upper hand in Iraq. And we've “provided Iran with a risk-free laboratory to spy on American forces in action.”

According to Brecher, Iraq is like a nuclear reactor that Iran can control by inserting and removing control rods. He says:

“They need to keep us there, because — makes me sick to say it but it's true — our troops are now the biggest, strongest control rod the Persians are using to set the temperature of this war. They want us there as long as possible, stoking the feuds and making sure nobody wins.”

Another benefit of a long bloody regional war is the money and supplies that come pouring into neighboring countries. Iran (and Syria) must have tons of money and supplies coming into their border provinces. As Brecher says, “Need any U.S.-issue supplies, weapons, toilet paper, or global positioning system units cheap? Just ask at any bazaar in Damascus or Tehran. Uncle Sam's guarantee of quality — fell off the back of a two-and-a-half ton truck.”

The Vietnam war — with all the money pouring into the region — helped transform Thailand from a feudal backwater into a bustling tourist magnet and major economic power. Looks like the Iraqi-American war will be providing the same benefit for Iran and Syria. We sure know how to sock it to our enemies.

Iraq vs. Vietnam

This columnist is saying “A generation ago, Vietnam blew up politics as we knew it. Why isn’t that happening now?” Then he answers his own question by saying the Democrats haven’t offered any solutions yet. He says “Democrats haven’t fashioned a compelling (even to themselves) alternative to George W. Bush’s world view. Unless they do, they could lose in 2008.”

Regardless of whether that’s true, there's another reason Iraq hasn’t blown up in our faces. We don’t have a draft any more. At least technically we don’t. (Although, with the same “volunteers” being herded back to Iraq again and again and again, even after their doctors have declared them medically unfit for battle — but I digress…)

The Vietnam War had its share of chickenhawks —Cheney, Wolfowitz and all the rest of those pathetic armchair warriors at Project For A New American Century. But they had to work for it. They had to constantly make sure their draft status didn’t change to 1A. The most reliable way to keep from getting drafted was to stay in college — even if it meant getting Ph.D.s in twelve different subjects. At one time being married would keep people from being drafted, but that changed sometime during the Vietnam war. After they changed it, you could be drafted even if you were married with children. And the number of occupations that were “draft-safe” kept on shrinking.

So it was a constant struggle if you wanted to be a chickenhawk, and it made for some awkward contradictions. “We need to keep fighting over there and do whatever it takes to keep the Communists from taking over uh oh I just got a letter from my Draft Board, I have to go straighten this out right away. Oh God…”

Today’s chickenhawks, on the other hand, only have to do one thing to stay out of the military: Don’t enlist. It doesn’t get any easier than that.

A tiny percentage of America’s population — service members and their families — is gravely affected by the Iraqi war. It’s the center of their lives; it’s turning their lives upside down. Meanwhile, the other 99% (just guessing at the number) can just go on about their routines, totally unaffected by the war. They might argue about it, but they aren’t contributing anything to it and they aren’t inconvenienced by it.

And THAT is why Iraq hasn’t “blown up American politics.”

Libby/Cheney/Plamegate

With everybody weighing in on the Libby verdict and what it means, let’s hear what a former CIA Director has to say:

“I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious of traitors.”

Those words were spoken by George Herbert Walker Bush on April 26, 1999. Well, George Dumbya, now you know what your father thinks of you. Traitor!

Dick Cheney Dies At Walter Reed Hospital

The Vice President of the United States, Dick Cheney, has died at Walter Reed Hospital. He was checked in yesterday for routine tests after a blood clot was discovered. He developed a severe infection due to a rat infestation in his room and a mysterious fungus growing on the walls, and has now died as a result of the infection.

The Vice President has no connection with the U.S. Army — he bragged repeatedly about his five draft deferments and his “other priorities” during the Vietnam War. But somehow the keywords “one heartbeat away” and “commander-in-chief” ended up in his online profile. This caused the Vice President to be sent to Walter Reed for treatment, even though this hospital is ONLY for soldiers and veterans.

The recently-fired General who was in charge of Walter Reed Hospital and the Secretary of the Army (who fired the general and was later fired himself) were seen banging their heads against a wall. (Their own heads, not each other’s.)

A reporter heard them moaning “Why????” “Who Knew????” “We could’ve killed those rats years ago; should’ve scrubbed that mold off the walls back in ’93.” “How were we supposed to know a VIP would be sent here???” “I thought this hellhole was only for grunts, gimps, you know, blue-collar types…”

Cheney: “We Need To Get Out of Iraq NOW!”

OK, he didn’t actually say that. But with Cheney’s near-perfect record of wrong predictions, this seems like the clearest choice. We've all heard jokes about people listening to the weather forecast and then dressing for the exact opposite. “Mostly sunny today” equals “break out the raincoat and umbrella.”

It’s the same with Dick “Wrong Way Corrigan” Cheney. The person who brought us “our soldiers will be greeted as liberators” and “the insurgency is on its last legs” has struck again.

“If our coalition withdrew before Iraqis could defend themselves…the violence would likely spread throughout the country and be very difficult to contain. Having tasted victory in Iraq, the militants would look for new missions.” Well there you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth. Hurry up and get our troops out of that hellhole and bring them home. Now.