Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, February 09, 2012

CPAC: “Mardi Gras for the Right”

Only instead of beads, boobs and Hurricanes, we’ll be getting high on Jesus.  And not just any “Jesus,” nosireebob.  It has to be the Supply Side Jesus — the Real Jesus, the Jesus who embraced the moneylenders and drove the beggars from the temple.

(H/T to TomCat at PoliticsPlus, where I first saw the term Supply Side Jesus.)

CPAC — the Conservative Political Action Conference — is the 40th annual gathering of Real Americans.  And if you have to ask, you’re a Real American if you think America used to be a great country but started  deteriorating around 1900.  That’s when Theodore Communist Roosevelt started whining about corporations being too powerful.  And on top of that, Flagburner Roosevelt had this wacky concept of “public” lands.  Public lands???  God created that land so that productive Americans could OWN it.  He put it there for mining, cattle grazing, chopping down trees.  And some of His land was also intended for the luxurious private estates of hardworking billionaires; that was fine with Him.  He DIDN’T create that land so that a bunch of faceless bureaucrats could cordon it off, call it a “national park,” and allow the riffraff to come in and gawk.

Just a minute, I’m getting all riled up.  I need to go thump the Bible for a minute…

OK:  In addition to hearing speeches by Mitt Romney (who invited that moderate jellyfish?), Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum, you can also listen to Paul Ryan telling it like it is:  Social Security and Medicare have created a nation of helpless dependent parasites.

And there’s good news for those of you who hate queers:  That group of Republican homosexuals that calls themselves GOProud will NOT be darkening CPAC’s doorway this year.  As every fetus-worshiping Biblehump knows, you CANNOT be a Republican, a Christian AND a homosexual at the same time.  And because GOProud won’t be here, the Family Research Council — who refuses to be in the same zip code as those simpering GOProud homos — WILL be joining us this year.  Hallelujah!!!

Sarah Palin will also be speaking.  It’ll be her first appearance at a CPAC gathering.  And saving the best for last:  the final night of CPAC will culminate in the annual Reaganpalooza party.  (If you have to ask, you ain’t a Real American.)  The Reaganpalooza will be held at the Teatro Goldoni on K Street.

See ya there.

Labels: , , , , ,


Blogger jadedj said...

There are GOP homosexuals? Nah...come on...you made that up, right?

Now, if you had said GOPediphiles...or maybe the GOPussyhounds...or the GOPuppyfuckers...that I would consider reasonable.

February 9, 2012 at 2:58 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Even GOProud having that fag hag as their new leader, could not get them an invite to this party. Oh yeah, they have a straight woman as head of the group now. I do have to say, looking at different LGBT sites today, there is a lot of craigslist posting going on over there at CPAC. You know, I'll be discrete(that's their spelling) and will top or bottom for you. Grindr, Manhunt and different ways to find the homerseckshuals are working overtime to keep up.

If I am not mistaken, they are also hosting a white supremacist, so all the not white people will be happy about that or they can just leave dammit. Quislings and kapos the whole lot of them. Mini Palin is supposedly there too, giving away free autographs on one of her yearbooks. That should please a lot of tired wrinkly old republicans seeing that young nubile, ewwww... I cannot even finish without throwing up, so I will stop now.

February 9, 2012 at 3:15 PM  
Blogger Mr. Charleston said...

Supply-side Jesus. Love it.

February 9, 2012 at 6:07 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

Just don't say "Throw me something mister," since they all have nothing but sh*t to throw.

February 9, 2012 at 7:23 PM  
Blogger S.W. Anderson said...

Good one.

If I had to bet, the CPAC straw poll winner be Santorum followed by Paul and Gingrich. Alternatively, Romney digs deep into his riches, wins it, and many a CPAC attendee goes home with a fat wad of cash.

February 9, 2012 at 7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All those white, christian, conservative leaders. Who's running Congress?


February 9, 2012 at 8:16 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Erik wrote: "All those white, christian, conservative leaders. Who's running Congress?"

As Sen. Dick Durbin said a few years ago, "The banks own this place."

February 10, 2012 at 12:26 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

what a bargain only 45.00 per ticket. Now if they were serving dinner they could charge $35,000 per plate speaking of going home with a fat wad of cash.

February 10, 2012 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

jadedj: A Republican homosexual, that just can't be. God must have gotten her wires crossed, or something.

Jess: Is that Mann Coulter you're talking about? I know she's sided up with gay rights groups. I'm surprised she hasn't gotten kicked out of the GOP's Big Tent.

Between Palin and the Reaganpalooza (I don't even want to know), there's something there for every wrinkly old white bigot.

Mr. C: I always loved that term too.

JR: LOL, I'd never yell that at the CPAC Mardi Gras.

SW: I haven't followed any CPAC news since yesterday, but I'd guess Santorum is their knight in shining armor. They wouldn't like Ron Paul since he doesn't want to attack other countries or lock up nonviolent drug users.

Erik: The usual suspects -- Big Oil, Big Pharm, defense contractors, and of course the banks as S.W. says in the next comment.

SW: That was pretty candid of Dick Durbin.

February 10, 2012 at 12:45 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

@Tom. Ann Coulter is all woman and all nasty all the time. I don't think the LGBT community needs to be saddled with her sorry ass. Yeah she was all into GOProud up to and including going to one of their functions and telling them they don't have the right to be married. Every last one of them was okay with that. That tells you what GOProud is all about right there.

February 10, 2012 at 6:37 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Tom, Durbin said that in a moment of intense frustration and disgust at the way things were going.

February 13, 2012 at 12:45 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

unlike the "think tank" at the Net Kooks Convention.

February 14, 2012 at 8:02 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home