Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, March 11, 2013

Republicans Must Reach Out to that Freeloading 47%

by Ted Cruz

Mitt Romney was right.  Forty-seven percent of the American population is just a bunch of freeloading bums who lie around all day smoking pot and taking handouts.  But Romney blew the election when he said “it’s not my job to worry about those people.”

Unfortunately, those parasites vote.  And they DIDN’T vote for Mitt Romney.  So like it or not, we DO have to worry about these no-good layabouts, or else the GOP will go down in flames in the next election.

When we start the 2014 election campaign, we need to tailor our message to each specific group that makes up the Freeloading 47%.  Drug addicts, for example.  When we have a TV commercial that’s directed towards dopers and hopheads, we could have music in the background that’s, you know, that psychedelic music that people listen to when they’re on drugs.  Or jazz, if the ad is being targeted towards hopheads who are colored.

The inner cities have been ignored by Republicans, and consequently most of those people voted for Obama.  When we target our ads toward the ghettos, we should have hip-hop music in the background.  And if we really want to connect with these people, the wording of our message should make heavy use of current ghetto slang, like “Ho!” and “Beotch!”

Now, most of my fellow Republicans don’t know this, but a lot of these 47-percenters actually DO work.  They just don’t earn much money, so they’re not required to pay any federal income taxes.  (Christ, what a bunch of losers!)

But we need to grit our teeth and reach out to these people too.  When we tailor our ads to this group, the most important thing is for the announcer to use small words and talk very slowly.  I mean come on, these people’s annual incomes are somewhere down in the five-figure zone, so they’re obviously not too bright.  But they vote, and we need to communicate with them.

Anyway, you get the idea.  This country is full of parasites and leeches, but if we want to win any more elections, we need to reach out to these bums and connect with them.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

During the debates Obama pointed out in the audience about "you being the 47%" and they all seemed to understand!

I would like to dump the freeloading 1/2 of one percent and the corporations who are really dependent on the Government and are bleeding us dry.

Always keep in mind the Republicans never liked any sort of support for the people, that includes, healthcare, pension, sick, vacation, overtime, injury on the job, protection against job discrimination and...shall I go on? Suffice to say things we all rely on regardless of political leaning.

One more thing: QUIT PICKING ON JAZZ! The Who, Cream, and Led Zepplin did more drugs then Miles Davis, Charley Parker, John Coltrane and a whole generation of 1950's and 60's Jazz Musicians combined (not to mention they could better afford it)


March 11, 2013 at 3:08 PM  
Blogger Mr. Charleston said...

Hey, I love jazz and I'm not "colored." But, I have to confess to being part of the lazy, hophead, 47%. Dang. It is what it is.

March 12, 2013 at 5:40 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

It's their new messaging. What could possibly go wrong?

March 12, 2013 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger S.W. Anderson said...

Erik, great comment!

I read the linked Raw Story item. This is another case of Republicans being ignorant and arrogant at the same time. They're ignorant of what it's like for so many people who aren't like them.

Say you're the offspring of a white, well-established family in a small city in Texas for generations. Your father owns a hardware store. You have an uncle in town who owns a restaurant. Another uncle is the fifth generation of the family to run a ranch on the same land. You get yourself through high school and college, then go to work in the hardware store for awhile. You save some money, and get an idea for a business you'd like to start. When you go to the bank for a loan, you're a cinch to get the loan.

Now, let's say you're the son of a single mother whose highest education attainment is a GED. She worked in a laundry, a couple of fast-food places and eventually got a better job with the Postal Service to provide the basics. The only times she received "entitlements" was when she got laid off because of a recession, or when she qualified for food stamps because the best job she could get paid so little.

Like the young man in Texas, you finish high school, and with the help of a scholarship and three years of Army service earn a college degree. No one in your family has ever done that. Your one uncle ran with a bad crowd as a teenager, wound up serving three years in prison, and that record has dogged him ever since. He works in the kitchen of a bar and grill; the best job he could get.

Back in civilian life you get a job as an insurance adjuster. You save some money, get an idea for a business and apply for a loan.

Ted Cruz probably thinks it's going to be green lights and blue skies for the young black guy I just described. He probably thinks that because, like Romney, his perceptions are based on what life has been lie for him, on conservative ideology reinforced by the right-wing noise machine, and by racial and social stereotypes he's never questioned and examined realistically.

Maybe the young black guy would get his loan. It's possible. But I think even now his chances would be many times less than the young white guy in Texas. The young black guy has too little to back him up. There's just not enough reason to expect he'd succeed with his business. Why take the risk?

That kind of turn-down is outside Mitt Romney's experience, and probably outside Cruz's as well.

March 12, 2013 at 11:49 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: I also would like to dump that half of one percent that pays no taxes, keeps their money in offshore tax havens and gets subsidies from the government. Those are the real freeloaders.

Mr. C: Us hopheads have to stick together.

Jess: I hope things go just as wrong for them in 2014 as they did in 2012.

SW: That's an excellent example you gave. And as we all know, there are millions of real-life people in those two hypothetical situations you described. Conservatives either don't know this, or they don't want to know.

March 12, 2013 at 6:43 PM  

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