Israel to U.S.: “Mind Your Own Business.” “Help Me!!!”

If Israel were to attack Iran, the United States would be pulled into another war.  Just what we need — another quagmire in the Middle East.  And there would suddenly, miraculously be trillions of dollars available for this new Operation Freedom or whatever euphemism they’d come up with.

Whenever the American government tries to restrain Israel — or if you’re still walking on your  knuckles, that’s “apologizing for America” — the Israeli government tells us to stay out of it.  Mind your own business.

Except, it IS our business.  If Israel attacks Iran, America’s warmongering chickenhawks will be champing at the bit to drag us into the middle of it.  You can take that to the bank.

Israel is like that mooching relative that everybody has — defiant, headstrong and needy all at the same time.  “Stay out of my face!  Don’t tell me what to do…Uuhhh, can you help me out with the rent?  I’m a little short this month.  Again.”  “I’m in jail again.  Can you bail me out?”

Someday, maybe, the United States will cut the umbilical cord and free Israel from the tyranny of America’s constant babysitting.  Imagine the pride and self-determination Israel will feel when she can stand on her own, no longer dependent on handouts from the American government.

In the meantime, if there’s ever a war between Israel and Iran:  Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Tucker Carlson and Rudy Giuliani — among other shit-spewing chickenhawks — should be immediately apprehended and sent to the front lines.

John Bolton Has Eight Days to Fall and Break His Hip

Iran is already the meanest, most terrifying country in the history of the world. And they’re about to get even worse.

John Bolton — yes he’s a chickenhawk; you had to ask? — gave Israel the dire warning yesterday, basically telling them “a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.”

On August 21st, Iran’s Bushehr nuclear facility will be brought online. And just in case you’re not paranoid enough — the Russians helped Iran build the Bushehr reactor. What??? We have to be scared shitless of Islamofascist terrorists AND communists??? We must be very very afraid at all times. Never EVER stop looking over your shoulder!

Sometime after August 21st, when nuclear fuel has been loaded into the Bushehr plant, it’ll be too late. Come on, you cowardly Israelis, what are you waiting for?!?!?!? Iran will destroy the world if you don’t Act NOW.

Bolton said:

“Once that uranium, once those fuel rods are very close to the reactor, certainly once they're in the reactor, attacking it means a release of radiation, no question about it. So if Israel is going to do anything against Bushehr it has to move in the next eight days.”

Old chickenhawk warmongers never die. They just keep on spouting and shit-spewing.