Washington Pharmacists: “No Sluts Will Darken Our Doorway”

The State of Washington recently passed a law requiring all pharmacies to maintain a supply of Plan B, the emergency contraceptive. A pharmacist can still refuse to sell Plan B, but ONLY if another pharmacist is present who's willing to fill the order.

Washington is one of the most liberal states in the country, but it still took a huge public outcry, and pressure from the governor, to get the State Board of Pharmacy to adopt this law. And now some pharmacists have filed a lawsuit, claiming the law violates their “Constitutional rights.” Ah yes, I remember now: the Constitutional right to tell fallen women and pregnant sluts to get the fuck out of your store and go straight to Hell.

The plaintiffs in the lawsuit are pharmacists Rhonda Mesler and Margo Thelen, and Stormans Inc., the owners of Ralph's Thriftway in Olympia, WA, a grocery store that includes a pharmacy.

One of the favorite soundbites from the Far Right is that there are “too many lawyers,” “too much litigation.” So far the Rightwing reaction to this particular lawsuit has been “___________________________________.”

When the pharmacists filing the lawsuit were asked whether they themselves would be willing to adopt and raise the children whose births they insisted on, their answer was “________________________________.”

American Soldiers Killed with American Weapons

After the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan in 1979, our government supplied weapons to Afghan rebels to help them drive out the Soviets. Some of these rebel groups later turned against us and mutated into Islamic terrorist groups, including al Qaeda.

In the early 1980s we poured weapons into Iraq to help them in their war with Iran (“the enemy of my enemy is my friend”). Then we were shocked by the Frankenstein we’d created, and we had to invade Iraq because they had “Weapons of Mass Destruction.”

Well, at least we've learned from our mistakes. We won't do anything like that again now, will we.

Let’s see, most of the 9/11 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia. Among the terrorists and suicide bombers in Iraq, nearly half of them — more than from any other country — are from Saudi Arabia. The Saudi government is possibly the worst police state in the world; far worse than Iraq ever was under Saddam Hussein. And there's been all kinds of speculation about the close ties between the bin Laden clan and the Saudi Royal Family.

So, whaddya say we sell a bunch of weapons to Saudi Arabia. Satellite-guided bombs, new naval vessels — come on, they're our friends; we can trust them. They’ll be our faithful allies against Iran.

The Bush Administration motto seems to be: "Every time I stick my finger in that electric socket I get a shock. I think I'll stick my finger in there again and see what happens."

Gorbachev Bitch-Slaps Bush

Things have come full circle. The Red Menace that we were afraid would “bury us” — the Evil Empire — is now warning the President of the United States about his dangerous and reckless behavior.

Mikhail Gorbachev, who presided over the breakup of the Soviet Union in 1989, accused Bush of “sowing disorder across the world by seeking to build an empire.”

He said that after the Cold War ended, “The Americans then gave birth to the idea of a new empire, world leadership by a single power, and what followed? What has followed are unilateral actions, what has followed are wars, what has followed is ignoring the U.N. Security Council, ignoring international law and ignoring the will of the people, even the American people.”

He continued: “When I look at today’s world I have a worrying feeling about the growth of world disorder. I don’t think the current President of the United States and his administration will be able to change the situation as it is developing now — it is very dangerous…It is a massive strategic mistake: no single center can command the entire world, no one.”

Gorbachev knows first hand what he's talking about. When the Soviet Union collapsed on his watch, the Soviet military was hopelessly quagmired in Afghanistan, which was supposed to be a “slam dunk” nine years earlier. The war in Afghanistan, together with the out-of-control military spending which pushed the Soviet government into bankruptcy, was the death knell for the Soviet Union.

On the other hand, Iraqmire, together with America’s trillion dollar deficit — oops, don’t even go there…

George W. Bush: “I Haven’t Learned a F#$%%#! Thing in the Past Five Years!”

When laboratory rats are led to a tunnel that contains cheese, these rats will continue to go back to that same tunnel expecting to find more cheese. But they’ll only do this for awhile. After a point, if they no longer find cheese in the tunnel, the rats will get the drift and they’ll stop going into that tunnel to look for cheese.

If only the President of the United States could be a rat. This Presidential Rat would be a whole lot smarter than the F#!$%#&*&%#$#!! who currently occupies the White House.

It’s bad enough that Bush and his puppetmasters deceived us into the Iraqi invasion 4-½ years ago. But it’s even scarier that almost five years later, the White House Puppet still believes his own phony rhetoric. Most of the 9/11 hijackers were from Eye-Rack, and Saddam bin Hussein Laden was their leader. We've gotta fight them over there so we don’t have to fight them over here. And now that we've killed almost 4,000 American soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians, America is safer than she’s ever been.

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!! Don’t you just want to grab that stupid dense obtuse little F#!$%&*!#$#!! by the lapels and shake and shake and shake some sense into that thick skull?!?!?!?!?

Barely 25% of the American population still believes Bush’s non-stop drivel. That’s about the same as the percentage that believes the sun revolves around the Earth. Coincidence?

The entire White House needs a colonoscopy. And this time, get every last one of those polyps outta there.

Electrodes Gonzales Worried About “Image Problem”

This probably sounds like a skit from Saturday Night Live or The Daily Show, but it’s an actual news item. Abu Gonzales is concerned about his “image problem.” OOPS, hope you didn’t just spew your drink all over your keyboard.

Image problem?!?!?!?!?!? WTF? This is the drooling idiot who said the Geneva Convention is “quaint and outdated.” It’s also the same twisted sickfuck who said an interrogation technique is not torture as long as it doesn’t result in “organ failure.” Then there's the firing of those U.S. attorneys who weren’t quite gung ho enough about the Bush agenda, and his perjured testimony before Congress… (If his memory is one tenth as bad as he's pretending, he needs to be transported to an assisted living facility ASAP.)

And the solution to all these scandals is to fix his image problem??? Trying to fix Torquemada Gonzales’ “image problem” is like trying to clean the world's filthiest outhouse by spraying it with an air freshener.

Alberto Gonzales is probably the only person in the world who could make us long for the good old days when John Ashcroft was attorney general. Gonzales’ response to all the uproar over his scandals: “These allegations have been troubling to hear.”

Sen. Charles E. Schumer, D-N.Y., cut through all the bullshit by saying: “There are probably only two people on Earth who think the attorney general ought to stay: Alberto Gonzales and President Bush. As long as he’s in charge, the Justice Department, the rule of law and America will suffer.”

We need to remove this malignant polyp from the Justice Department.

One Veteran’s View of the Veterans’ Administration

Here is one Iraqmire veteran’s account of his experiences with the V.A. It’s written by David Botti, who served as a rifleman with the Marine Corps in Iraq in 2003.

On his first post-deployment evaluation at a VA hospital, he was screened by a nurse because the doctor was “too busy.” Halfway through his interview the nurse “suggested I change one of my answers, or I would be spending all day waiting to speak with doctors in the psych department.” He walked out as soon as the “evaluation” was over and never went back, realizing this was the wrong place to be looking for help.

What country is this again? One of the most appalling things about the Soviet Union was that political dissidents were sometimes locked up in mental institutions. Are we making progress or what? At this rate, Russian conservatives will be saying to their own demonstrators “yeah, why don’t you go over to America and try that?”

Botti doesn’t slam outgoing VA Secretary Jim Nicholson. He says Nicholson inherited a terrible situation at the VA and his successor probably won't make much difference either. Nicholson is (was) one of the few members of the Bush Administration who isn't a chickenhawk; he's a Vietnam veteran with a Bronze Star and a Combat Infantryman Badge. But in a way this makes his failures even more maddening (unspeakable conditions at VA hospitals, the identity theft from millions of veterans); veterans are supposed to take care of other veterans.

Botti seems jaded about how fucked up and hopeless the VA is. “Secretary Nicholson's departure is significant only in that it will hardly make a difference for the average veteran. He will leave, someone else will come in—the confirmation hearings may or may not be heated—and in the end nothing will really change.”

At the end of his article, Botti gives a heartbreaking account of one of his fellow veterans and the hard times he's fallen on. And then he says “Do you think he cares who the secretary of Veterans Affairs is? I doubt it. Just get him some help.”

Bush Trying to Redefine Labor Unions out of Existence

Attention all working Americans. Here is a test: see if you can tie your shoe and say “Ugg!” at the same time. You passed! Congrats! You are now a supervisor. No, you aren't getting a pay raise or any additional authority or job responsibilities. But your new promotion means that you are no longer eligible to join a union. Cool, huh?

Under cover of darkness (Bush’s standard M.O.), the Bush Administration has been pulling the rug out from under millions of workers. The National Labor Relations Board, like every other government agency, has been stocked with Bush cronies. Last year the NLRB quietly redefined millions of job positions as “supervisory.” These millions of new “supervisors” don’t have hiring or firing authority or any of the other powers you associate with the word “supervisor.” But since they're now “supervisors” these employees are now ineligible for union membership.

There's a bill working its way through Congress, the RESPECT Act (H.R. 1644 and S. 969). This law will clearly define the term “supervisor” and make the National Labor Relations Board unable to sabotage millions of working people through these slippery stealth tactics (or at least this particular stealth tactic).

Please click here to ask your Senators and Congressperson to co-sponsor the RESPECT Act. It’s already hard enough to make ends meet without having to be constantly fending off one sleight-of-hand Dumbya maneuver after another.

Cracking Down on Drunk Drivers

This was e-mailed to me:

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Canby, Oregon. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) — flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a Breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”

“I doubt it” said the proud Oregonian. “Tonight, I’m the designated decoy.”

Sicko

Yes, it seems like everybody who sees this movie has to do a post on it. OK, here goes:

This is by far Michael Moore’s best movie. It still has Moore’s trademark combination of humor and anger, but it’s much more of an emotional roller coaster. It almost rivals Crash or Hearts and Minds for pushing those emotional buttons.

We’re all aware that 45 million Americans (or whatever the number is) are without health insurance. As disgraceful as that is, the nightmares documented in Sicko are suffered by working Americans who HAVE health insurance. Crippling injuries, deaths and grief-stricken families are the result of one slippery move after another by HMOs.

There's a 100-page list of diseases that aren't covered, period. If that isn't enough, there's that trusty old standby, the “pre-existing condition,” and there's a huge number of treatments that aren't covered because they're “experimental.” Don’t worry; one way or another, your HMO will find a way not to cover you.

Even though the insurance and pharmaceutical industries are cranking up their smear campaigns against this movie, Sicko probably won't alienate as many conservatives as Moore’s other movies have. After all, Biblehumpers, rednecks and Iraqi-war supporters are just as likely as anyone else to get sick and go into bankruptcy because of medical expenses. You remember the expression that “a conservative is a liberal who just got mugged.” Well, what happens to a conservative who just got fucked over by his HMO?

Some of the most moving parts of the film are the interviews with HMO employees. A woman broke down crying when she was telling Moore about interviewing a couple who was applying for HMO coverage. The couple was ecstatic that they were finally going to have health insurance. The interviewer wasn’t allowed to tell them, but she knew — by some of the answers on their application form — that they would be denied, but they wouldn’t find out until they received a boilerplate denial letter in two weeks.

There was an interview with a former HMO employee whose job was to find a way — any way at all, whatever it took — to get money back from patients (or get them dropped by the HMO) after they had already had their treatment approved. His most common method was to do an excruciating background check on a patient until he found a minor ailment — no matter how insignificant — in the patient’s distant past. It could be a stubbed toe, a cold, a mild rash or any other condition which cured itself without treatment; anything. Then, if it turns out the patient hasn’t mentioned this “pre-existing condition” on the application form — Gotcha! They instantly lose their health coverage for failing to disclose their pre-existing condition.

At the end of the interview, this same HMO ex-employee said “people don’t fall through the cracks. We put the crack there and then we push them towards it.”

Think what you want about “socialized medicine,” or the Big Business-generated hysteria about “you don’t even get to choose your own doctor!” “You have to wait six months just to get into the doctor’s office!” But in countries that have universal health care — that’s every industrialized country in the world except us — the people love it and wouldn’t give it up for anything. Moore traveled all over Canada, France and England, interviewing local citizens and American expatriates. Not one of them echoed the rightwing spewbuckets back in the States. Everyone he talked to, regardless of income level or political views, was very happy with their health coverage and the quality of the care.

And now, for the sake of equality and fairness, here is an opposing view of Sicko.

Britain’s New Leadership: “I’m Staying Away from the Village Idiot”

That poor Tony Blair. He had so much promise, such a bright future. And then he fell in with the wrong crowd. It happens. Get mixed up with the village idiot and the local wackjob, and by the time you’ve discovered how toxic they are, you’ve been painted into a corner and your credibility is shot.

Britain’s new International Development Secretary, Douglas Alexander, and Foreign Office Minister Mark Malloch Brown are both determined not to be brought down by the Bush Curse. Brown said that Britain needs to “nurture a wider range of allies” — a polite way of saying “keep your distance from Chimpy.”

Malloch Brown said: “For better of worse, it is very unlikely that the Brown/Bush relationship is going to go through the baptism of fire and therefore be joined together at the hip like the Blair/Bush relationship was.”

Douglas Alexander said: “In the 20th century a country’s might was too often measured in what they could destroy. In the 21st, strength should be measured by what we can build together.”

Sorry Dumbya, your most loyal bitch has finally dumped you. What's a scorned furher to do?

Recording Industry Throws Another Tantrum (Again)

Just when you think the Recording Industry of America couldn’t possibly get any more anal retentive, they do. One of capitalism’s oldest traditions is the free offer, the giveaway. Whether it’s altruistic or just a gimmick for future sales, it’s as American as, well, pick your cliché.

But tell that to the corporate douchebags who rake off 99% of the revenue from every CD you buy (just guessing at the numbers). Prince will be giving away copies of his newest CD, “Planet Earth.” Whether that’s out of generosity or just shrewdness — hey, cool, a free CD from one of the world’s most popular recording artists of the past 25 years. Everybody wins, right?

Ah, but the rules have changed. Free enterprise, under-pricing your competitors, building a better mousetrap — that’s soooo 1900s. Inheritance, cronyism, kissass-ism — that’s how most music industry executives got to where they are. Zero work for trillions of dollars. These fuckin’ leeches make Paris Hilton look productive.

And now Prince has brought the “struggling” recording industry to its knees by giving away his newest CD. The reason the recording industry is “struggling” in the first place is that nobody wants to patronize those assholes. In the 1970s the recording industry was “almost” decimated by those communist anti-American wretches who had the nerve to tape songs off the radio instead of going out and buying the record. After that, used CDs were the culprit that would destroy the music industry as we know it. When that didn’t happen, the blame went to those wicked freeloaders who downloaded free music off the Internet.

Things change, but the one constant is that the recording industry will always blame their own failures — caused by greed and ineptitude — on some fringe group whose “freeloading” is just about to bring them to their knees.

The co-chairman of the Entertainment Retailers Association said: “The Artist formerly known as Prince should know that with behavior like this he will soon be the Artist Formerly Available in Record Stores." Well guess what, Shitbreath — long after the Entertainment Retailers Association has been dead and forgotten, Prince will still be well-known and revered. How’s that workin’ for ya?

If the recording industry wants to charge $19 for a new CD, and tries to put the thumbscrews on any store that sells used CDs, that’s free enterprise. But it’s also part of that same free enterprise system when a huge recording star gives away copies of his newest CD. Is this complicated??

Here are the results of a web search for “Prince new album RIAA.” Interesting reading.

Warning To All “Family Values” Windbags

Are you sick to death of all these loudmouth hustlers spewing “Family Values” and “What Would Jesus Do?” You know the type: human life is sacred from the point of conception to the moment of birth. Bill Clinton needed to be impeached because of his immoral behavior, and George W. Bush has restored honor and integrity to the White House. Etc. Well, help is on the way. The great playing-field leveler — our favorite hypocrite vanquisher — has arisen and he's madder than ever.

Larry Flynt is ready to start yanking these two-faced Biblehumping sinners out from under their rocks and exposing them to the American people. His first casualty so far is part-time Biblespouter / part-time sex fiend David Vitter, the disgraced Republican Senator from Louisiana. What, you thought Vitter suddenly saw the light and developed a conscience and decided to confess and cleanse his sins? Vitter developed his Christian decency and open-ness after Flynt contacted him and told him he had phone records linking him to that infamous prostitution ring.

Flynt said “I don't want a man like that legislating for me, especially in the areas of morality.” That’s exactly right. If you're gonna thump the Bible you have to practice it too. It was Flynt who exposed Newt Gingrich as a two-faced Biblespewing homewrecker and also derailed Gingrich’s would-be successor (does anybody even remember that sleazebag's name?) on the same grounds. And now, after six years of having our country dominated by a bunch of Torquemada wannabes, the great hypocrite vanquisher has a lot more work to do.

Flynt says “We've got 20-some investigations that all look good. We have got some high-ranking Republican and Democratic members of the Senate and the House. If I get just a couple of those phonies out of there, maybe it will be a step forward.” He also said “This is payback time. I'm not exposing anyone's sex life. ... I'm only exposing the hypocrisy.”

It’s a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it. You go Larry.

United States Losing Influence in Latin America

And now, straight from the cover of DUUUHHH!!! Magazine: the United States has been exerting less and less influence in Latin America. Oh My God, No!! After all we've done for those dark-skinned funny-talking furriners, and they're turning against us?!?!?

Well, true, we did engineer a coup in Chile that resulted in thousands of citizens being tortured and/or executed. And twenty years earlier we did the same thing in Guatemala. And we tried (unsuccessfully) to do the same thing in Venezuela a few years ago. And we've been trying (again unsuccessfully) for almost fifty years to do the same thing in Cuba. Goddamnit, won't that stubborn Communist ever die??

Oh, and Nicaragua’s Daniel Ortega — we even got help from our second worst enemy in the world in trying to overthrow that #$%$#!$&!! — is now back in power. And some of those South American countries are still growing coca leaves, even though we've pleaded and pleaded with them to crack down on it because we have a bunch of wealthy teenagers in our own country who keep getting themselves addicted to a byproduct of coca leaves. But those damn governments keep whining at us, something about coca leaves being the only livelihood of thousands of dirt-poor farmers, or something. WhatEVer!

And now we’re losing influence among these people. But, but, Why???

Can We Learn From China?

Now I’m not saying it’s right, but sometimes you've just gotta do what you gotta do.

If America ever took this approach, there'd be some dead motherfuckers in our corporate boardrooms and government “regulatory” offices. I’m just saying…

Surgeon General’s Office meets the Salem Witch Hunts

As you’ve probably read by now, Bush has nominated Dr. James Holsinger to be the next Surgeon General. Holsinger’s biggest claim to fame is that he thinks homosexuality is a choice. Why, of course. As we speak, millions of young people who are just reaching puberty are thinking to themselves: “Hmmm, do I want to be gay or straight? Let me weigh the pros and cons. Gay people are constantly being called names, ostracized, threatened, beaten up, and sometimes even disowned by their families. Wow, that sounds neat. That’s my choice — I'm going to be gay.”

On July 12th there will be a Senate hearing on Holsinger’s nomination. If you think the Surgeon General of the United States should NOT be some clueless Biblewipe who thinks homosexuality is a choice — please click here and ask your Senators not to confirm Holsinger. The position of Surgeon General is too important to be filled with yet another unqualified Bush crony.

Crime and Punishment

This will probably sound like one of those trivia columns: did you know that our Constitution guarantees equal protection under the law? Who knew?? Looks like a great idea on paper; let’s see how it really works:

Millions of non-violent drug offenders (mostly marijuana users) are serving huge federally-mandated prison sentences. And several people are facing up to twenty years in jail for importing Khat — a plant which acts as a mild stimulant when you chew the leaves — from East Africa into the United States. And in Georgia an 18-year-old boy was sentenced to ten years in prison for having consensual oral sex with an underage girl.

Boy, are we strict. But then again:

Scooter Libby had his 30-month prison sentence commuted. The average sentence for obstruction of justice is five years and four months. Even if Bush hadn’t commuted Libby’s “excessive” prison term, his sentence would’ve been less than half of the average sentence for that crime.

Equal protection??? Maybe Scooter Libby should smoke some marijuana so he could get sentenced to fifteen years at Leavenworth.

Words From Our Founding Fathers

As we get ready to celebrate our country's birthday, let’s remember some quotations from our Founding Fathers:

“Fear is the foundation of most governments; but it is so sordid and brutal a passion, and renders men in whose breasts it predominates so stupid and miserable, that Americans will not be likely to approve of any political institution which is founded on it.” John Adams.

“They that can give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” Benjamin Franklin

“All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.” Thomas Jefferson

“An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens....There has never been a moment of my life in which I should have relinquished for it the enjoyments of my family, my farm, my friends & books.” Thomas Jefferson

“Enlighten the people, generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like spirits at the dawn of day.” Thomas Jefferson

“Every government degenerates when trusted to the rulers of the people alone. The people themselves, therefore, are its only safe depositories.” Thomas Jefferson

“He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.” Thomas Paine

“'Tis our true policy to steer clear of permanent Alliances, with any portion of the foreign world.” George Washington

“Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.” George Washington

Watch What They Do, Not What They Say

The more things change…Every day we have another prominent Republican speaking out against Bush and Iraqmire. And every time there's another vote in Congress, they all march in lockstep and vote in favor of whatever Bush wants. This is getting old.

These two-faced assholes seem to think they can keep fooling the American people by acting “moderate” in public and then privately voting for everything Bush wants. The scary part is, maybe they can. Maybe our Paris Hilton-obsessed American Idol-addled population doesn’t notice.

Sure it’s nice to have all these tell-all books getting published, with one former Bush henchman after another coming out and telling us what it was like working for those douchebags. And it’s great that Hagel, Specter, Lugar, Voinovich — among others — have publicly criticized the Bush Administration.

But what does it all add up to? A vote to reduce funding for Iraqmire — Defeated. A no-confidence vote against Electrodes Gonzales — Down in flames. Eliminating funding for the vice president’s executive office budget (a logical decision since Cheney is claiming he's above the law because he ISN'T part of the executive branch) — Defeated. Etc.

And now there'll be a vote on whether to close Guantanamo Bay by cutting off funding. Three guesses on how the invertebrates will vote.

We The People spoke out last November. We put the Democrats in charge of the House and Senate because we've had enough of this shit. Democrats are in charge now, more and more Republicans are speaking out against the Bush Administration — and what’ve we got to show for it?

Congress — 535 people, four spines.