2010: End-of-the-Year Schlock

Sorry, there’s no escape. Everywhere you go, there’s more of the same old end-of-the-year drivel. So here goes:

Here are some photos of the year's top stories.

Or, if you like your news to be raw, unfiltered, un-sugarcoated — you might like these top 25 stories.

Austerity is the Word of the Year for 2010 according to Merriam-Webster. This word received more than 250,000 searches at the dictionary’s website.

There were almost as many searches for the word “socialism,” since the word gets spewed out every day by rightwing demagogues, and dutifully parroted by their gullible followers. It’s probably a good sign that so many people actually looked up the word to see what it means, instead of automatically going “Ugh! Socialism! Bad!”

Hint: When insurance companies are prohibited from canceling a patient’s medical coverage because the patient got sick — this is NOT “socialism.”

Here are some of the year’s most, uh, unconventional celebrity health and fitness tips.

Here is a list of people who left us during 2010. Teena Marie isn’t listed here because she hadn’t yet passed away when this article was written.

My two favorite songs of hers didn’t get much airplay, but fortunately I was able to find them on YouTube: Here and Here.

R.I.P.

Hollywood Farmers Market vs. Los Angeles Film School

This controversy transcends the usual political lines of left/right, liberal/conservative; and still pushes a lot of emotional hot buttons. People moving into a seedy neighborhood and then complaining about their new surroundings that they CHOSE; affluent yuppies using their wealth and influence to bully the riffraff — this story has it all.

The Hollywood Farmers Market has been at its present location for nineteen years. Every Sunday morning — when all the neighboring businesses are closed — eight thousand shoppers crowd the market. Everybody seems to know everybody, and they all seek out their favorite farmers and vendors.

A few years ago, the Los Angeles Film School moved into the neighborhood. And now the film school is complaining that the farmers market’s vendors and customers are blocking access to one of their parking lots. They’re trying to get the local Powers That Be to revoke the farmers market’s permit when it comes up for renewal.

Again, the Los Angeles Film School is closed when the farmers market is in operation. But some of their students like to go to the campus on Sundays and use the studios and equipment, etc. And if the little divas can’t get a convenient parking space, well, [swoon] they just don’t know what they’ll do. The people who can afford the sky-high tuition are probably accustomed to getting their way, and doing what they want when they want.

If the Los Angeles City Council rules in favor of the film school because of their wealth and influence, they’ll be making a huge mistake. This exact same controversy flared up five years ago in a small town. A popular farmers market had a downtown street closed off — just one block — two days a week for about four hours. Several downtown merchants claimed they were losing business when the farmers market was in operation, and they used their political clout to get the farmers market evicted. In their arguments, they used the same rhetoric and talking points that the Los Angeles Film School and other neighboring businesses are using:

“Oh, we just love the farmers market. We think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. We just don’t want them blocking off this particular street. If my customers can’t park two feet from my front entrance, they’ll just stay in their car and drive off, and I don’t get their business.”

This farmers market ultimately did come back downtown to a different location. But the upscale merchants who got them evicted — with the help of their prostitutes in the local government — ended up winning the battle and losing the war. Stores were boycotted. People’s political ambitions were sabotaged and completely derailed.

Sometimes you’ve gotta chalk one up for the riffraff.

Vladimir Putin and “Managed Nationalism”

Vladimir Putin came to power in Russia — and has maintained that power — through the use of Managed Nationalism.

Just like the USA, Russia has millions of outraged citizens who relieve their frustration and anger by lashing out at other ethnic groups. Racist/nationalist skinheads and soccer hooligans are the two main anti-foreigner groups. (How do you say “redneck” in Russian?)

These racist groups are a potent weapon for government power brokers; and some of these groups are “unofficially” affiliated with government VIPs. Recently a gang of hooligans had a “spontaneous” gathering where they attacked a group of environmentalists.

But sometimes a potent weapon can backfire. Recent race riots have shown that “managed nationalism” is getting out of control and isn’t being too well “managed.” (Here's another link in case the Financial Times link doesn't work.)

On December 11th, six thousand skinheads demonstrated near the Kremlin. Some of the demonstrators assaulted non-Russian passers-by who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A member of one of the anti-immigrant groups said: “This is a massive political wave, and no one can stop it.”

The same person also said Vladimir Putin is in roughly the same position as the Polish government after the fall of Communism (they gave up power) and/or Nicolae Ceausescu, the Romanian dictator who had an unhappy ending in 1989. Grim choice.

55% of all Russians agree with the nationalist/skinhead slogan “Russia for the Russians.” And sales of baseball bats are through the roof. Betcha didn’t know baseball was such a popular sport in Russia. And you were right. For every baseball that gets sold, four bats are sold. Hmmm…thousands of violent skinheads on the rampage, millions of Russian citizens who agree with them, baseball bats selling like hotcakes…what could this mean?

The linked Financial Times article compares Russia’s racial tensions to Germany in the 1930s. The author doesn’t make any comparisons to American demagogues, teabaggers or racist gangs. However…

Sour Grapes Legislation

Several months before the 2010 mid-term elections, when it was already obvious the Democrats would get a shellacking, Sobbin’ Hood announced that he didn’t want Congress to pass any “sour grapes legislation” during their lame duck session.

Tough shit, Weepy.

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell got repealed.

The New START agreement finally got ratified by the Senate.

Congress has finally passed the aid package for 9/11 First Responders (yes, it was a watered-down version).

We’ve got a new expanded food safety bill.

Unemployment benefits have finally been extended (yes, coupled with billionaires’ tax cuts).

And after at least five years of wrangling, we’ve actually got a net neutrality law, watered down as it is. (I know, that was the FCC and not Congress, but still…)

These are some proud achievements from a group of Democrats who’ve spent the past year and a half getting bullied, stymied and shat on by Republicans.

The next two years will be full of gridlock and mutual hatred like we’ve never seen. But for now — You Go 111th Congress.

Too Dumb for the Army; Smart Enough to Vote

OK, dumb isn’t the right word. They’re just uneducated — even though they’ve graduated from high school.

Twenty-three percent of all high school graduates who try to enlist are NOT qualified. They don’t meet the minimum requirements for science, math and reading skills.

U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan said:

“Too many of our high school students are not graduating ready to begin college or a career — and many are not eligible to serve in our armed forces. I am deeply troubled by the national security burden created by America's underperforming education system.”

Retired Rear Admiral Jamie Barnett said:

“If you can't get the people that you need, there's a potential for a decline in your readiness.”

But on the bright side — most of these unqualified people vote Republican. Republican politicians knew exactly what they were doing when they started gutting the education system thirty years ago. Now they’re reaping the fruits of their labors. Rightwing demagogues have millions of loyal unquestioning followers, all of whom are ready to snap to attention and go “Ugh!!!” when they hear the right buzzword.

But conservatives probably didn’t anticipate what a double edged sword this would be. Sure, they have millions of reliable drones who vote as they’re told, and faithfully show up for those orchestrated teabagger “demonstrations” at the proper time and place.

But these drones can’t serve in the military. Uh oh. How can we keep invading other countries if the Pentagon can’t find enough soldiers?

Congressman Peter King: “I’m Willing to be Called a Cocksuckin’ Retarded Inbred”

OOPS, I must have mis-read that quote. The word was “Bigot.” My bad.

Rep. Peter King (R—Dildo) continues to defend his ongoing bigotry and hatred toward Muslims. He said:

“I hate those fuckin’ ragheads! Every last one of them!” OK, that wasn’t his exact wording. But you know that’s what he was thinking. In your heart you know he’s a KKK wannabe.

There’s one tiny silver lining to Peter King’s existence: He’s a constant reminder that racial prejudice isn’t confined to the south or any other specific region. His New York congressional district must have more rednecks than all the southern states put together.

In other news: Mitch McConnell takes one on the chin (all forty-seven of them). John Kerry lashed out at Senate Republicans in general — McConnell in particular — for their ongoing delay of the New START agreement.

The main rightwing talking points against New START are: “this treaty is being rushed,” and “why are we doing this NOW???”

First of all, the Senate has already spent more time debating New START than they spent on the first START treaty, START II and the Moscow Treaty. Secondly, the reason the Senate is taking up the New START agreement “NOW?!?!?!?!” is because Senate Republicans have spent the last few months stalling and delaying the New START treaty.

There's a certain cause and effect sequence there. (Republicans, don't worry; don't strain yourselves trying to put two and two together.)

We can all look back to sometime in high school or junior high, when we kept putting off a term paper until the night before it was due. And then we were up all night, moaning and groaning about “ooohhh, why do I have to do this NOW?”

Did these Republican senators ever graduate from high school?

Don Van Vliet aka Captain Beefheart

We’ve lost one of the pillars of twentieth century music. Don Van Vliet — Captain Beefheart — died yesterday.

Most people never heard of him. Out of the people who heard his music, most of them probably gave a quick listen and then went “WTF?!?!?!?” The simplest description I can think of is: a cross between Delta Blues, jug band music and avante-garde jazz, with Howlin’ Wolf on vocals, and the zaniest most out-there lyrics of all time.

Again, that description is much too oversimplified. As little-known as he was, he’s had a profound effect on today’s music. (I’m not talking about the pop drivel you hear on the radio.) Almost every progressive/experimental/”New Wave” (remember that term from the late ‘70s?) musician — and that includes Frank Zappa — has been influenced by Captain Beefheart.

I never knew much about him; he kept a very low profile. Most of his fame — what there was of it — probably came from collaborating with Frank Zappa. I have two of his Zappa/Beefheart albums — Bongo Fury and Hot Rats. The only Captain Beefheart album I have is Trout Mask Replica.

Yesterday Tom Waits said:

“[Captain Beefheart] was like the scout on a wagon train. He was the one who goes ahead and shows the way.... He drew in the air with a burnt stick. He described the indescribable. He's an underground stream and a big yellow blimp.”

Don Van Vliet has spent the last few decades concentrating on abstract painting instead of music. He was supposed to be such a slave-driver and a perfectionist, it was hard to find musicians willing to work with him. He himself once said:

“Part of why I stopped doing music was because it was too hard to control the other people I needed to play the stuff, and I'd had enough animal training. When it comes to art, I have a real streak of fascism. I want it to be exactly the way I conceive it, and if one line is changed it's like, 'Hey, the hell with it, I don't need it.'“

He died at age 69 — complications from multiple sclerosis.

Here are some more links to Captain Beefheart.

Here are some YouTube links. And HERE are most of the tracks from Trout Mask Replica.

R.I.P.

Jon Stewart and Republican Hypocrisy over 9/11 First Responders

It isn’t exactly a newsflash that the GOP is a bunch of two-faced motherfuckers. Tax loopholes for hedge fund managers are more important than unemployment insurance for people who’ve lost their jobs during the worst downturn in seventy years. War is good, as long as I don’t have to do any of the fighting myself.

And remember: if anyone criticizes or even questions the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, scream “9/11” at the top of your lungs. And what about the 9/11 First Responders who are sick or disabled? Fuck ‘em! They were last year’s prop. We don’t need ‘em any more. Run along now.

Here are links to three recent Daily Show segments. Even by Jon Stewart standards, he tears conservatives a new one.

This article has two Jon Stewart videos; and the third one is found here.

I hope you’ll check out the three videos when you get a chance. You’ll laugh while pounding your fist on the keyboard.

Please Help Jon Kyl Go Home for Christmas

The War on Christmas is getting more brutal than ever this season. This time it isn’t just pagan cashiers saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Those devious liberals are finding more and more subtle, insidious ways to piss on Jesus.

As you’ve probably been reading, Senate Republicans are doing their usual stalling tactics against the New START agreement, the omnibus appropriations bill to keep the government running; you name it. Time is running out. And now Harry Reid — did somebody give him a spine for Christmas? — has announced that the Senate will work through the Holidays, if that’s what it takes to get their work done.

And this threat, this sacrilege — the Persecution of Christians! — is not sitting well with Senator Jon Kyl:

“It is impossible to do all of the things that the majority leader laid out without doing — frankly, without disrespecting the institution and without disrespecting one of the two holiest of holidays for Christians and the families of all of the Senate, not just the senators themselves but all of the staff.”

Of course, if the Senate would just VOTE on these bills — instead of filibustering and delaying and putting holds on everything — they’d probably finish their work in time to go home tomorrow. But try explaining that to a Republican.

Meanwhile, Jon Kyl might not get to go home and open Christmas presents with his family. To borrow a phrase from one of his biggest idols — Jon Kyl would like his life back.

Remedial Training for Long Beach Police Department

In memory of Douglas Zerby, who was shot to death by Long Beach’s Finest — here is today’s remedial police training. Ready?

This is a water nozzle.

AND:

This is a gun.

OK? Any questions? If any of you “peace” officers still can’t tell the difference — you’re in the wrong line of work.

The Horrifying Slaughter in the Faroe Islands

The most bloodthirsty animal cruelty ritual in the world is going on in a place you’ve never heard of: the Faroe Islands, an autonomous province of Denmark. (Here are some more links.) These sickfucks make the Canadian baby seal clubbers look like a bunch of treehuggers.

They have an annual ritual where they go out in motorboats and “drive” a bunch of Pilot Whales and Calderon Dolphins into a bay; sort of like herding cattle. After the whales and dolphins have been lured/driven into the bay, close to shore, the brave hunters stab them. And then they stand there and watch while the whales and dolphins slowly bleed to death.

The slaughter isn’t completely without purpose. They do eat the meat of the Pilot Whale. But the main purpose is the ritual itself. It’s a rite of passage during which teenage boys become “men” (using the term loosely).

About the only consolation is that some of these people are getting sick and dying from the huge amounts of mercury they’re consuming, courtesy of the slaughtered whales. Mercury poisoning is also causing a surge of mental retardation among the youngest children. Maybe the next generation of retarded “hunters” will hold the knife by the wrong end.

Here are some more sick photos.

There were some online petitions asking the Danish government to put a stop to this, but all the petitions I found were closed. Apparently a lot of people have already signed and expressed their outrage, to no avail. I just found out about this whole thing today when a friend forwarded me the information.

Nazi Wannabe of the Week: Robert McCarthy

Robert McCarthy — town supervisor, Sidney Center, NY — has already received Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person in the World” award and been ridiculed by Stephen Colbert.

Most cities and towns already have enough problems to deal with, without some dickwad trying to manufacture a problem where none existed.

Near Sidney Center, there’s a 50-acre farm, which is owned by an order of Sufi Muslims. They’ve been at this farm for eight years. The acreage also includes a mosque and a cemetery. The cemetery is completely legal, all the right permits were obtained, etc. But that didn’t matter. The cemetery made a perfect scapegoat for Robert McCarthy and his fellow inbreds on the board of supervisors.

Fired up by the hysteria and pantytwisting over the Ground Zero Mosque in New York City (which was actually four blocks away from Ground Zero), the Sidney Center Board of Supervisors voted to “investigate” the Sufi cemetery. They said the bodies might have to be disinterred. Robert McCarthy was the ringleader, but the vote was unanimous.

A local attorney, who is representing the Sufis free of charge, said:

“It was sickening. McCarthy was acting like this was Selma, Ala., in the '60s and he was Bull Connor.”

On the bright side, Robert “Bull Connor” McCarthy ended up uniting a lot of local residents. They came out against him and on the side of tolerance. One longtime resident said:

“At first I felt so ashamed of my town. And then I saw how the community reacted and I thought how amazing the way we pulled together to do away with something so wrong and make it right.”

The supervisors’ display of bigotry caused such an uproar, they quickly dropped their “investigation” of the cemetery. But you can’t un-ring a bell; you can’t get the toothpaste back in the tube. The townspeople were pissed. About 150 of them attended a board of supervisors’ meeting just so they could jeer them and demand an apology.

And some of them are even reaching out by visiting the Sufi center and talking with the people there. The Sheik told a group of visitors:

“What is happening right here in Sidney can show the whole world, that we can live peacefully as Muslims and non-Muslims, that we can share the same land, that a small town in America can show that the whole country is not mired in Islamophobia.”

For Sale: Dick Cheney. Only $500,000,000. Going Once, Going Twice…

I realize there are a lot more important things going on than this, but this is just too absurd. As you probably know already, the Nigerian government has charged Dick Cheney in a huge bribery case, and is trying to have him arrested via Interpol. If convicted, he faces up to three years in prison. In Nigeria.

And now, Halliburton is offering Nigeria a $500,000,000 settlement to keep Cheney out of jail. Is he worth it?

As the article points out, how do Halliburton employees and stockholders feel about “donating” five hundred million dollars just to keep their slippery ex-CEO out of prison?

If you think he’s worth it, buy Halliburton stock. Buy a whole lot of it. NOW.

Maybe some patriotic Americans will start a Dick Cheney Fund. Please donate. You wouldn’t want our sleazy ex-vice president to go to jail in one of those poor, backward countries, would you? Having terrible unspeakable things done to him by his icky third world inmates?

[ahem] Uh, you wouldn’t, now, would you???

Our “Independent” Judiciary

First it was Dick Cheney and Justice Scalia going on a duck hunting trip, which led to a Supreme Court ruling that was very favorable to Dick Cheney. Well, before that, of course, the Supreme Court had SELECTED George W. Bush over Al Gore; and this had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that George W. Bush’s father had appointed two of those Supreme Court justices.

And now, a corporate foundation called FREE (Foundation for Research on Economics and the Environment) has been wining and dining federal judges. During a luxury vacation of horseback riding and God knows what else, these federal judges are “educated” and “advised” on how to make environmental rulings that are beneficial to the VIPs who have just wined and dined them.

FREE is funded by — among others — Exxon, Texaco, the Koch Brothers, General Electric, Monsanto and Shell. And FREE’s board of directors includes three U.S. Court of Appeals judges: Edith Clement of the Fifth Circuit, and Alice Batchelder and Danny Boggs of the Sixth Circuit. (Disgraced former Attorney General Ed Meese is also on the board of directors, but that’s a whole ‘nother post.)

After a fun-filled weekend, courtesy of Monsanto and Big Oil, these judges will return to the bench and make objective rulings. “That vacation cabin had the best view of the Rockies I’ve ever seen. Lobster, smoked venison, 18-year-old single malt Scotch — those oil execs sure know how to party. OK, what’s next on the docket — Exxon versus some treehugger…”

Didn’t this used to be called bribery? Jury tampering?

Delano Regional Medical Center: “Speek Inglish. Its the Offical Language”

You’d think that inside a hospital, providing quality medical care would be a higher priority than being a retarded bigot. Apparently not; at least not at Delano Regional Medical Center in Kern County, CA.

Fifty-two Filipino nurses and other medical workers have filed a lawsuit against Delano Regional Medical Center. The hospital has an “English only” rule. Filipino workers were warned in 2006 not to speak Tagalog or any other Filipino language at work, including break periods. They were told there would be surveillance cameras to monitor them for compliance. Also, sometimes a group of them would be conversing in English, and a supervisor would walk up to them and say “remember now, English only.”

The odd thing is, the hospital’s “English only” rule is directed only at Filipinos. Other employees are free to speak Spanish or Hindi with no harassment. WTF?

If there’s anything worse than a dumb redneck, it’s a dumb redneck who only hates one ethnic group. This furriner sucks, but those other swarthy bastards are OK.

Some people might think the United States has more pressing problems than a few immigrants speaking their native language. For instance, too many high school students have truble reeding and they caint ad to and too. And what’s up with that there “science” thingy anyway?

Out of thirty-four countries, America’s 15-year-olds ranked 14th in reading skills, 17th in science and 25th in math.

According to the OECD report in the linked article:

“Boosting US scores for reading, math and science by 25 points over the next 20 years would result in a gain of 41 trillion dollars for the United States economy over the lifetime of the generation born in 2010.”

And:

“Bringing the United States up to the average performance of Finland, the best-performing education system among OECD countries, could result in gains in the order of 103 trillion dollars.”

Oh well, whatever. First things first.

U.S. Chamber of Commerce: “Won’t Somebody Please Come Out and Play With Me?”

Since corporations are people, what kind of person is the U.S. Chamber of Commerce? Technically, they’re not a corporation, of course. They’re more of a front group; a money-launderer.

If the U.S. Chamber of Commerce were a person, it would be the spoiled arrogant rich kid who thinks he can buy friendship, but everybody hates him. His family could buy the whole city, but he can’t buy a date and never gets invited anywhere.

Like the saying goes, if you lie down with Karl Rove, you wake up with lice and shit and slime all over you. The U.S. Chamber of Commerce worked with Rove — among other sleazebags — to raise $75 million for attack ads. The ads worked. Mission Accomplished.

But now a lot of local chambers of commerce have decided they can’t take the stench any more, and they’re cutting ties with the U.S. Chamber. Some large corporations have also dropped out of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce for the same reason, including Pacific Gas & Electric.

It makes sense. A chamber of commerce is supposed to be all about promoting business and economic growth — like the name implies — not political shitslinging and character assassination.

Hopefully a lot more corporations and local chambers will cancel their affiliation with this gang of money-laundering sleazebuckets.

George Soros: He’s More EVIL than You EVER Imagined

Thank God for WorldNetDaily. If you think Fox News is too liberal and Sarah Palin uses too many big words, WorldNetDaily provides constant warnings on the REAL threats to America.

Everyone knows George Soros is a socialist who wants to destroy the free enterprise system. And it’s common knowledge that liberal pundits and bloggers — without exception — get their daily propaganda instructions from George Soros. None of us would dare to write or say anything without receiving permission from our Grand Master.

But it’s even worse than you thought. This exclusive report from Whistleblower Magazine is titled: “Evil emperor behind attacks on America. Most dangerous man in the world exposed in stunning report.”

Every American needs to know this!

Instead of trying to interpret or paraphrase this dire warning, I’ll just let the author — WorldNetDaily Managing Editor David Kupelian — scare us in his own words:

“Soros, like Obama, is wired very differently than most of us. He rejects and reviles most things decent Americans regard as good and sacred, and he tends to favor everything rotten: He wants to legalize drugs. He supports euthanasia. He's for socialism and opposes free-market capitalism. He’s for devaluing America's currency, telling the Financial Times last year 'an orderly decline of the dollar is actually desirable.' He supports the destruction of American sovereignty in favor of global governance. He detests conservative talk radio, Fox News and WorldNetDaily, and funds organizations that constantly attack the only free press America currently has.”

And that’s not all:

“If it's immoral, subversive or harmful to America, Soros favors it, organizes it and funds it. If it's noble and freedom-producing, like free markets and small government, he despises it and creates organizations to undermine and ultimately destroy it. This issue of Whistleblower shines intense daylight on all of this. Make no mistake. George Soros' goal is nothing less than to overthrow the United States of America and its Constitution. Fortunately, armed with the kind of information and insight found in this issue of Whistleblower, there's real hope we can engage and defeat the forces of the atheistic left which, for some strange and ungodly reason, always seem to be offended by everything good.”

WorldNetDaily founder Joseph Farah — aka “He Who Gave Birth to the Birthers” — said:

“Soros is an America hater. There's no other way to put it. He recently said only America stands in the way of globalist progress and he's going to do everything in his power to bring America to its knees.”

Uh oh — kneepads for America. OK, you’ve been warned. Be very very afraid.

Teabaggers: “Do As We Say, Not As We Do”

Gotta love those wacky teajobs and their empty soundbites. “Limited Government,” “We The People,” “if I ran my business the way the government…” — Riiight. Scratch the surface and you’ll find:

Over one billion dollars worth of earmarks requested by the Congressional Tea Party Caucus. Two-faced motherfuckers. How’s that Tree of Liberty thingy workin’ out for ya?

The 52 members of the caucus have requested a total of 764 earmarks that add up to $1,049,783,150. Cool, that “redistribution of wealth” isn’t such a bad thing after all.

The vice president of Citizens Against Government Waste called them out on their double standard:

“It's disturbing to see the Tea Party Caucus requested that much in earmarks. This is their time to put up or shut up, to be blunt. There's going to be a huge backlash if they continue to request earmarks.”

Nah. By the time the next election rolls around, the public will have long forgotten about this. Either that, or it’ll be Obama’s fault.

And here’s another example of the contempt politicians have for their constituents. The State of California has a $6 billion deficit. Meanwhile, California lawmakers have an annual $5 million car allowance. And it’s all courtesy of those lowly taxpayers whose services have been cut to the marrow.

Jeb Bush: “Si! Viva La Raza!!!”

The Republican Party has alienated millions of Hispanic voters. Gee, just because the party is full of skinheads, KKK/Nazi-types, immigrant bashers and sheltered country-clubbers doesn’t mean they’re “racist” or anything. [sheesh] [pshaw]

Anyway, the GOP has found a solution to their image problem. Not the underlying cause of their shitty image. No. Just the image itself. Jeb Bush (remember now, his wife is a Meskin) has teamed up with Carlos Gutierrez, Boy George’s former commerce secretary. Their new whitewash organization is called the Hispanic Leadership Network. Together, they’ll come up with a band-aid to put over the festering putrefying abscess of hatred and bigotry that IS the Republican Party.

Problem solved.

And speaking of Republican “logic” (popularly known as Cognitive Dissonance):

There are two distinct separate reasons that the unemployment rate is so high. And these two reasons — these two contradictory beliefs — are held simultaneously by all Republicans:

1. It’s Obama’s fault. Completely. Case closed.

AND:

2. If you’re unemployed, it’s YOUR fault. Stop whining, get up off the couch and get the fuck out there and get a job! NOW, you worthless parasite!

[ouch] No wonder Aspirin and Ibuprofen sales are so high. You can get a wicked headache even pretending to think like a Republican.

WikiLeaks: The New Robin Hood?

Or maybe Steal This Book — Part II. Or the Great Equalizer.

Last week’s political leaks were controversial, to put it mildly. But now, WikiLeaks might start working its magic on the world’s biggest, most unaccountable bastions of power and secrecy: global corporations.

Got dropped by your HMO after twenty years of paying every premium on time? Got fucked over by your bank and you’ve been waiting on hold for an hour and a half? Call WikiLeaks.

(“Who You Gonna Call? Bank Busters!”)

For years there’ve been rumors of computer “Hacktivists” — ready and willing to hack into government and corporate computer systems. Back in the ‘90s, before China’s economic and technological surge, there were rumors that Taiwan had an army of hackers. If China tried to back up one of their numerous threats to “unify” China and Taiwan, these hacktivists were ready to bring China’s entire army to a standstill.

Whether those stories were true or just urban legends, WikiLeaks seems like the closest thing. Whether these leaks are right or wrong, they’re an equal and opposite reaction to decades of secrecy. The powerful VIPs whose decisions affect millions of people are completely sheltered from the unwashed masses whose lives they’ve impacted.

Tear down the wall (as Ronald Reagan once said). Bring on the Equalizer. Steal This Book.

Now, does anybody know: Is there an extradition treaty between the United States and Nigeria? Please say yes.

Dick Cheney serving time in a Nigerian prison [gets all starry-eyed]

Dear Santa…

How to Subtract $4 Trillion from the Deficit

Congress seems to be tearing its hair out over two simultaneous mind-boggling problems:

1. The Deficit Panel wants to eliminate $4 trillion from the deficit, using a politically suicidal combination of privatizing Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid; reducing military spending; and eliminating popular tax deductions.

2. Congressional Republicans, as usual, are stamping their feet, pouting and holding their breath ‘til they turn blue. And once again, this tactic — it’s the only thing they know how to do — will undoubtedly work. They’re planning to block ALL legislation until the Bush tax cuts get extended for everybody. If these tax cuts are made permanent, they’ll add $4 trillion to the deficit.

Funny how two unsolvable problems can sometimes cancel each other out. “Oh My God, we absolutely HAVE to pass this law which will add $4 trillion to the deficit!” “Now, what painful excruciating sacrifices can we all agree on, that would eliminate $4 trillion from the deficit? This is sooo complicated.”

Since NOTHING is what Congress does best, why don’t they just let the tax cuts expire and spend the rest of this session sitting there with their thumbs up their asses? (And like Ronald Reagan having Alzheimer’s, how would we tell?)

Sure a tax increase would suck, but so would most of those brilliant ideas from the deficit panel. Privatizing Social Security/Medicare/Medicaid? You’ll be old someday. If you liked Enron and the Wall Street meltdown, you’ll love privatized Social Security. Eliminating the mortgage interest deduction? Welcome to American Revolution 2.0. Reduced Pentagon spending sounds good, but Halliburton/Bechtel/Big Oil will never allow it.

For once, Democrats could try NOT bending over. Let the tax cuts expire, and give John Boehner something to cry about.