Big Banks Responding to Loss of Depositors

Last November, 650,000 bank customers took their money out of the largest banks and transferred it to a credit union or locally-owned bank.  (November 5th, 2011 was Bank Transfer Day.)

Since then, hundreds of thousands more customers have smartened up and moved their money out of the big banks.  And finally, the largest banks are responding to this mass exodus.

Oh wait, you probably thought the banks’ “response” would be to provide better service and fewer “Gotcha!” fees and surcharges.  ROTFLMAO!!!  Come on, what planet are you living on???

The largest banks have responded to their fleeing depositors by — you guessed it — making it more difficult, expensive and cumbersome to move YOUR money out of the bank.  What’d you expect?

An attorney for Consumers Union said:  “It's become harder and harder to move your money.”  A lot of banks are charging a fee for closing an account.  Cell phone carriers have “earned” billions with these termination fees.  It’s about time the banks caught on to this lucrative scam.  Why build a better mousetrap when it’s so much easier to just gouge your customers with hidden fees?

Another obstacle is the cumbersome process of transferring your direct deposit and automatic bill paying.  Banks are deliberately NOT helping customers with these processes, and they often give conflicting answers to people’s questions.  The transition can take several weeks.  WTF???  They can access all of your financial information with a few mouse clicks, but it takes several weeks to transfer a bank account?!?  Sort of an odd combination of the 21st and 19th centuries.  The Internet meets the Pony Express.

The linked article ends with:  “It may take a little time and cost you a few dollars, but if you don't like your bank — vote with your feet and find a new financial institution.”

Family Research Council Urges Death to Corrupt Bankers

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council has been raining fire and brimstone on sinners everywhere.  Apparently he takes this stuff pretty seriously.  He’s asking ministers across the country to sign a letter that states, in part:  “…We believe that ‘the wages of sin is death’ (Rom. 6:23)…”

The linked article doesn’t specifically mention usury, but that’s presumably what Tony Perkins is referring to.  After all, usury — the charging of excessive interest rates — is mentioned repeatedly in the Bible.  And not in a good way.

The Bible has passage after passage after passage about  usury.  Here are just a few examples:

“ If you lend money to any of My people who are poor among you, you shall not be like a moneylender to him; you shall not charge him interest.”

“ If one of your brethren becomes poor, and falls into poverty among you, then you shall help him, like a stranger or a sojourner, that he may live with you.  Take no usury or interest from him; but fear your God, that your brother may live with you.  You shall not lend him your money for usury, nor lend him your food at a profit.”

“If he has exacted usury Or taken increase — Shall he then live? He shall not live! If he has done any of these abominations, He shall surely die; His blood shall be upon him.”

Boy, is He strict!

Now of course the Bible also has the odd passage here and there that warns against eating shellfish, coveting your neighbor’s wife, being homosexual, working on the Sabbath, yada yada…

But with page after page of warnings not to practice usury, that has to be what Tony Perkins is talking about.  Well Tony, the banking industry is full of sinners.  Go get ‘em!

Teabaggers Warn Republicans Not to Waver on Obamacare

If or when the Supreme Court overturns Obama’s Affordable Care Act, Republicans will be in an awkward position.  The ball will be in their court.  Our health care quagmire is probably the most volatile issue of the last few years.  If Republicans succeed in getting the Affordable Care Act overturned, hundreds of millions of Americans will have the GOP in their crosshairs (figuratively):  “OK, you got rid of our insurance coverage.  NOW what are you going to do?  What’s YOUR solution?”

Republicans — at least the ones whose IQs are higher than their shoe sizes — are aware of this dilemma.  Even Allen West — not to mention a lot of moderate Republicans — is concerned about people losing their coverage for pre-existing conditions or for family members twenty-five and under who are still living with their parents.

Club for Growth and Freedom Works are having none of this touchy-feely whining about sick people.  Club for Growth spokesman Barney Keller said:

“The Club for Growth supports complete repeal of Obamacare. And complete doesn’t mean partial. It means complete.  [Ed. Note:  Barney Keller has just passed his sixth-grade English exam, so please bear with him while he shows off his new vocabulary]  We urge the so-called ‘tea party’ Republicans to keep their promises to voters and continue to fight for complete repeal as well.”

FreedomWorks spokesman Dean Clancy expressed his concern about bleeding heart spineless Republicans who might try to “resurrect parts of Obamacare.”  He said:

“It would be the height of folly for Republicans to say ‘OK, this is our problem now.’  It’s not the Republicans’ fault if 25-year-old slackers suddenly are dropped from mom and dad’s health insurance policy. It’s not the Republicans’ fault if various other provisions of Obamacare are no longer on the books. … The American people need to have a chance to reflect on the fact that the Democrats basically rammed an unconstitutional bill down their throat.”

“Their throat” — so apparently the American People have one collective throat that they’re all sharing.

Dean Clancy went on to brag that most Republicans are afraid to defy the Club for Growth and similar teatard groups:

“My sense in talking with some of them is that they’re not going there.”

Dean Clancy will hopefully find out that Karma’s a bitch.  Perhaps at an upcoming medical checkup, Clancy’s doctor will approach him with a stricken facial expression and say “This is serious.  I’ll need to run some more tests…”

Citizens for Fire Safety

Sleazy corporate front groups are getting more devious all the time.  An organization called Citizens for Fire Safety describes itself as “a coalition of fire professionals, educators, burn centers, doctors, fire departments and industry leaders, united to ensure that our country is protected by the highest standards of fire safety.”

Gotcha!

According to Nicholas Kristof, Citizens for Fire Safety has exactly THREE members.  And by sheer coincidence, these three members just happen to be the CEOs of the three main manufacturers of chemical flame retardants:   Albemarle Corporation, ICL Industrial Products and Chemtura Corporation.

For years Citizens for Fire Safety has been lobbying frantically for laws that require most furniture to contain these fire retardants.  Now what were those slogans again, something about “limited government,” “getting the government out of the private sector,” or something?

There are two things you should know about these flame retardant chemicals:  They’re practically useless for preventing fires, and they’re linked to countless health problems.  As Nicholas Kristoff says:  “Chances are that if you’re sitting on a couch right now, it contains flame retardants. This will probably do no good if your house catches fire — although it may release toxic smoke.”

These flame retardant chemicals are linked to — among other things — diabetes, cancer, fetal impairment and reproductive problems.

Calling all Right-to-Lifers:  Here’s your chance to do something useful.

Citizens for Fire Safety originally evolved from a tobacco lobby.  Cigarette manufacturers were being pressured to develop a fire-safe cigarette.  They figured it would be easier to lobby for “fire-safe” furniture instead.  Tobacco lobbyists conned the National Association of State Fire Marshals into lobbying for flame retardants in furniture.  As Kristof says, “The fire marshals seem to have been well intentioned, but utterly manipulated.”

From there sprang Citizens for Fire Safety, who hired Dr. David Heimbach —the former president of the American Burn Association — to testify in favor of flame retardant chemicals.  Dr. Heimbach told heartbreaking stories of children who had burned to death because of furniture that didn’t contain flame retardants.  According to subsequent investigations, Dr. Heimbach simply made up these stories.

One of the most common flame retardants, Deca BDE, has been banned in Europe but not in the U.S.  And why would this hazardous chemical be legal in the United States?  According to Senator Frank Lautenberg — who has tried unsuccessfully to pass the Safe Chemicals Act — it’s because “the money is jingling.”

Shoot Poachers On Sight

2011 was probably the worst year ever for the survival of the African Elephant.  Thousands of them were slaughtered last year by poachers.  Same with the Rhinoceros.

Most of the slaughter is because of the demand in Asia for ornamental elephant tusks and rhino horns, which are used for — [wink] — “medicinal” purposes.  We already have a billion and a half Chinese people strangling the planet.  Some old Chinese dude can’t get it up any more so he has to kill an endangered animal?!?!?  Off with his — uh, I digress…

Anyway, what can African governments possibly do about poachers?

India has the answer.  The Indian state of Maharashtra is now encouraging forest rangers to shoot poachers on sight.  Killing or maiming a poacher is no longer a crime in Maharashtra.  In India, tigers are the main poaching victims.  Out of the remaining 3,200 tigers in the world, half of them are in Indian wildlife preserves.

Again, the main motive for poaching tigers is the Chinese demand for tiger “parts” — again for “medicinal” purposes.  (See above.)

Iain Douglas-Hamilton, founder of Save the Elephants, wants the U.S. to pressure Thailand and China to crack down on the ivory trade.  He said:

“If China would declare a unilateral 10-year moratorium on ivory imports, there would be a future for elephants in Africa.”

Ditto for rhino horns and tiger “parts.”

Earlier Chinese governments got rid of their opium “problem” by executing ANYONE caught with opium.  So, let’s see, if the Chinese government wanted to crack down on the trade in elephant tusks, rhino horns and tiger “parts,” they could…uhhh…hmmm…I’m thinking…

And it would be fine with me if American poachers were shot on sight.  It could never be officially sanctioned, but unofficially…

About twenty years ago there was an article written by someone who had infiltrated a gang of poachers.  I don’t remember if he was an undercover cop or just a journalist writing about them.  I don’t remember many details from the article, but from everything he wrote, these poachers were the lowliest scumsucking-est trash imaginable.  They made the white trash from Stephen King’s novels look like Ward and June Cleaver.

Get ‘em out of the gene pool.

Heartland Institute: “Can You Spare Any Change? Every Little Bit Helps.”

How the mighty have fallen.  The Heartland Institute was one of the country’s leading propaganda mills.  They were probably THE top mouthpiece for the science-denying “global warming is a myth” crowd, with huge corporate donations pouring in from the usual suspects.

No more.  The Heartland Institute was last seen slumped over at the corner of Sixteenth and South Main Boulevard, holding up a “Will Work For Food” sign.

The Heartland Institute’s downward spiral is mostly the result of their infamous billboard (pictured at the linked article).  It shows a picture of the Unabomber — Ted Kaczynski — with the caption “I still believe in global warming.  Do you?”

Even their corporate allies thought the billboard was tasteless and not an effective way to influence public opinion.  What were they thinking anyway?  A billboard???  It’s much more effective to sabotage high school science textbooks with “scientific” articles “proving” that global warming doesn’t exist.  Or they could have orchestrated a bunch of “demonstrations” where Real Americans could express their fear and outrage against Big Brother Obama and his Fascist Clean Energy goons.  (See Koch Brothers, Americans For Prosperity.)

Anyway, the Heartland Institute’s donations have taken a nosedive, and their president, Joseph Bast, is pleading for help:

“If you can afford to make a contribution please do. If you know someone, if you’ve got a rich uncle or somebody in the family or somebody that you work with, please give them a call and ask them if they would consider making a tax-deductible contribution to the Heartland Institute.”

Doesn’t that just tug at the ol’ heartstrings?  Please give generously.

“Are Republicans to Blame for Washington’s Problems?” YES.

YES, according to Norman Ornstein, co-author of  “It’s Even Worse Than it Looks:  How the American Constitutional System Collided with the New Politics of Extremism.”

Ornstein says “I wouldn't say it's all Republicans.  It's 80-20 at this point.”

He also says:

“When you look at the data, including voting records ... the Democrats have moved left, to probably their own 25 yard line. President Obama's probably around the 40.  The Republicans have moved behind their own goal post.”

And before you dismiss Norman Ornstein as just another disgruntled liberal:  he’s affiliated with the conservative American Enterprise Institute.

Public Divided Over Romney’s Vulture Capitalism Career

WTF???  Finally, more and more people are learning about Romney’s job-killing “career” as a vulture capitalist — and they’re “evenly divided” over it?!?

Anybody home???

“Oh, so you mean, Mitt Romney would take over a thriving company, fire most of the workers, drive the company into debt and then sell off the company’s assets?  Huh.   Oh, what do I think about this?  Uhh…I don’t know…”

P.T. Barnum had no idea how dumb future generations would become.  The “suckers” he referred to were geniuses compared to today’s legions of sheeple.

Like they say, we get the government we deserve.  But when millions of dummies are conned into voting against their own interests, we ALL suffer.  Unfortunately there’s no way to grab 150 million Americans by their lapels, shake them as hard as you can and yell “HELLO!!!”

$670,000 Fine for Illegal Downloading

No country can possibly survive with a “justice” system this lopsided.  I guess it goes hand in hand with CEOs paying a lower tax rate than janitors.

Joel Tenenbaum, a former Boston University student, was fined $670,000 for the heinous crime of downloading and sharing thirty songs.  Off with his head!  And the Corporate Arm of the Republican Party — formerly known as the Supreme Court — has refused to even review this case.  Who’s this Tenenbaum fellow think he is, anyway — a corporation?

It’s not what you ripped off, it’s WHO you ripped off.  Now if this college punk had stolen billions of dollars from shareholders and bank depositors, he’d be getting a promotion and a larger bonus next year.

Stealing about $45 worth of songs from the all-powerful Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), on the other hand, is a much more serious crime.

There are too many examples of America’s huge sentencing disparity.  Here are just a few:

Set a fatal booby trap along a popular hiking trail — which by a roll of the dice didn’t ensnare anybody — and you get charged with misdemeanor Reckless Endangerment.

This column by Leonard Pitts, Jr. has some incredible — as in “you can’t make this shit up” — reports of absurd crime sentences.  Thirty years to life for stealing a VCR.  A woman shoots a gun into the air in order to scare off her enraged husband who had been strangling her — twenty years.  (The husband wasn’t charged with a crime.)  Another woman finally shot and killed her husband after he had been beating and kicking her for three days straight — fifty years.  What happened to that “Stand Your Ground” meme that conservatives have been spewing out en masse?

In the case of Joel Tenenbaum’s $670,000 fine, it shouldn’t be surprising that the Supreme Court isn’t interested.  A lowly individual versus the RIAA — in mean, come on.  Not that the Supreme Court has a pro-corporate bias or anything like that.  Just because Clarence Thomas used to work for Monsanto, and Scalia’s son is a Wall Street lawyer fighting on behalf of bank CEOs…

New Census Data: Real Americans Outnumbered by Swarthy Minorities

Fellow Americans, our worst nightmare has finally come true.  According to the latest census, last year more than half of all newborn babies were members of dark-skinned lazy shiftless ethnic groups.

Unacceptable!

And to make matters even worse, most conservatives are too lily-livered and mealy-mouthed — too afraid of being politically incorrect — to even talk about this nightmare.  The America of Ward and June Cleaver, Ozzie and Harriet Nelson — our beloved America is under siege!  And we’re all just sitting here with our heads buried in the sand.

Thank God for Phyllis Schlafly’s Eagle Forum.  Let the RINOs and other squishy moderate Republicans sit on their hands and cower and try to wish this nightmare away.  Phyllis Schlafly spells out the exact threat we’re facing from millions of squealing minority infants:

“It is not a good thing. The immigrants do not share American values, so it is a good bet that they will not be voting Republican when they start voting in large numbers.  Instead, the USA is being transformed by immigrants who do not share those values, and who have high rates of illiteracy, illegitimacy, and gang crime, and they will vote Democrat when the Democrats promise them more food stamps.”

OK?!?!?!?!  Are we awake now???

Real Americans — and you know who I mean [wink] — can NOT let this happen.  America is the Greatest Country in the Whole White World.  And them dark-skinned savages will take her away from us when they pry her from our cold dead hands!

Online Voter Registration

Republicans are determined to bring back the good old days of Jim Crow and poll taxes.  Five million eligible voters could lose their voting rights because of countless new Voter Suppression laws — written by ALEC and rubber-stamped by state legislators.  Other states (e.g. Florida) are even cracking down on voter registration drives.

What ever will we do?

Checkmate.

Yesterday House Democrats introduced the Voter Empowerment Act, which would allow online voter registration for all U.S. citizens.  People could register online and update their information online as needed (change of address, etc.).  Citizens would also be able to receive voting information via e-mail instead of snail mail.

The Voter Empowerment Act was sponsored by Rep. John Lewis (D—Georgia), who said:

“The ability to vote should be easy, accessible and simple.  Yet there are practices and laws in place that make it harder to vote today than it was even one year ago. The sponsors of this act believe we need to take action or risk losing the liberties we have enjoyed. We should be moving toward a more inclusive democracy, not one that locks people out…In this age of technology, our country is moving backward, not forward.  People died for the right to vote, and some of them were people I knew. I hope and pray we do not return to the days of overt discrimination before we decide to do something about it.”

One of the bill’s co-sponsors, Robert Brady (D—PA) said:

“This bill ensures that everyone — seniors, the disabled, working families, students and our military can register to vote.  It makes registering to vote simpler, faster, and more secure for each and every American. The Voter Empowerment Act reaffirms the basic principle our democracy: one person, one vote.”

This proposed law also establishes a national hotline where people can report registration or voting problems.

If Republicans try to defeat this bill, President Obama should issue an executive order to get this done.

Donna Summer

I haven’t thought of Donna Summer in several decades.  She passed away from cancer at the age of 63.  Damn, musicians are dropping like flies these days.

I always hated that Germanic Robo-Disco sound that Donna Summer started out with.  But she had some dynamite radio hits after that period, especially “On The Radio,” “Hot Stuff” and “She Works Hard For the Money.”

Donna Summer was nominated in 2010 — but not chosen — for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Household names whose music was influenced by Donna Summer include Michael Jackson, Beyonce, Madonna and Rihanna.

You can hear some of Donna Summer’s hits here.  (Interesting version of MacArthur Park.)

R.I.P.

“Dreams From My Real Father” versus the Birthers

It’s the Clash of the Loony Titans.  What happens when the Bedbug-Crazies square off against the Tinfoil Hat brigade?  Who wins?

Dreams From My Real Father is a rightwing wackjob “documentary” that tells the “real” history of Barack Obama.

Step aside, Birthwads — there’s a new Screaming Meme in town.  “Dreams From My Real Father” is narrated by an Obama impersonator who says the documentary is “the story I would have told if I were being honest with you.”

This is too convoluted to try translating, so I’m just gonna quote directly from the linked article:  “Obama” tells us that his grandfather was “an undercover CIA agent who convinced Barack Obama Sr. to marry his teenage daughter to hide the fact that she was impregnated by a 55-year-old communist named Frank Marshall Davis.”

This “documentary” was produced by Joel Gilbert, who’s a regular speaker at the annual CPAC neckdrooling contest.  His impeccable credentials also include being a regular contributor to FamilySecurityMatters.org, a website run by Frank Gaffney.

This movie has everything an inbred Obama-hating conspiracy theorist could love, except — EXCEPT — brace yourself now:  this documentary is telling us that Barack Obama was NOT born in Kenya.  Therefore he’s an American Citizen!!!!!

That dull thud you just heard was the sound of millions of birthwipes having the rug pulled out from under them.  This is their Ghost Dancing moment.

This movie, as enjoyable as it is for the teabirthing crowd, ultimately brings on the ultimate torture:  Confusion.  Cognitive Dissonance.  Not being absolutely 100% Certain about something.   Damn it, rightwingers need to be told, clearly, EXACTLY how it is.  PERIOD.  Otherwise, how can they spew out their talking points if they’re not sure which talking point to spew?

Let them twist slowly in the wind.

Are Abortion Ultrasound Laws Unconstitutional?

So far Texas, Oklahoma and North Carolina have passed laws requiring women to undergo an ultrasound before getting an abortion.  Not only that — the doctor has to spell out exactly what the procedure entails, and the woman is required to view the ultrasound images of her fetus.  Five other states are considering similar laws.

No doubt, America’s doctors are jumping for joy at the prospect of finally having something to do, since most of them have empty waiting rooms and lots of free time on their hands.  This is why our health care system is so efficient and inexpensive.

These ultrasound laws — hereafter referred to as Spanish Inquisition 2.0 — are probably headed for the Supreme Court.  Pro-choice groups are using the argument that the Spanish Inquisition 2.0 violates the First Amendment — for doctors.

The Supreme Court ruled in 1943 that “compelled speech” — in that particular case, requiring students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance — was unconstitutional.  Tobacco companies have had mixed results with that approach.  They’ve been required to post warning labels on cigarette packages for decades now.  But the newer much more graphic warning labels have been overturned by some federal judges.  We’ll see…

A professor from Elon School of Law said:

“In some ways it's a good strategy because ... the court under Chief Justice Roberts has been extremely protective of First Amendment speech rights.”

In some cases that’s been true.  Then again, women aren’t corporations.

Mitt Romney: Job-Killing Vampire

Mitt Romney:  job-killing economic vampire is the theme of a new ad put out by the Obama campaign.  Personally I think being compared to Mitt Romney is an insult to vampires everywhere.  But I’m glad the Obama campaign is taking the Republicans’ hyped-to-death “job-killing” soundbite and throwing it back in their faces.

This is Karl Rove’s M.O. — attacking your opponent’s strongest point instead of his/her weaknesses.  Mitt Romney doesn’t have any ACTUAL strong points, of course.  His unparalleled flipflopping ability only counts if he’s entering an acrobatics contest.  Oh, and when he gets five friends with him (if he even has any), he’s one Tough Hombre.

Even though Romney doesn’t have any actual strengths, the strong point he keeps hyping and marketing is his “job creation” record.  Let’s see, taking over a company, laying off most of the workers and selling off the company’s assets at a huge profit — job creation?  Oh, those new jobs all went to children in Third World countries.  I get it now.

The “job-killing vampire” ad talks about the rape of GST Steel by Bain Capital when Romney was at the helm.  (GST Steel went bankrupt in 2001.)  In the ad, one laid-off GST employee says:

“It was like a vampire. They came in and sucked the life out of us.”

Another laid-off worker describes how Bain Capital cut corners on safety:

“It was like working in the sweatshops of the 1930s.”  He also said when the plant closed it was “like watching an old friend bleed to death.”

But hey, think of the millions of Third World 7-year-olds who have jobs now — IF they work fast enough and don’t take a break to go potty every twelve hours.

Veterans for Obama, Chickenhawks for Romney

It makes perfect sense.  The low IQ xenophobic “America is Number One and Don’t You Forget It!!!” types who wouldn’t know a military uniform if it bit ‘em on the ass — they’ll vote for Romney.  Veterans on the other hand are leaning more and more toward Obama.

Now granted, neither Obama or Romney ever served in the military.  But at least Obama has tried to end the two quagmires he inherited from Dumbya.  And unlike Romney and the other GOP chickenhawks, Obama isn’t champing at the bit to invade Iran.

The linked article quotes a retired 30-year Army veteran who previously voted for Ron Paul “because of his unchanging stand against overseas involvement.”  This November he plans to vote for the candidate who’s least likely to start “knee-jerk reaction wars.”  He also said:  “I really don't like the direction we are going, how we seem to come closer daily towards a war with Iran.”

As the linked article says:  “Disaffection with the politics of shock and awe runs deep among men and women who have served in the military during the past decade of conflict.”  Damn right.  “Shock and awe” is one of those phrases that’s great fun to yell out from behind a podium or computer console.  It’s not quite as much fun when you’re physically surrounded by it, in the thick of it.

Another retired Army veteran — who’s also a Southern Baptist and NASCAR fan — said:

“I went to war for George Bush.  But we can't keep policing the world.”

Right now Obama has a seven point lead among veterans; not exactly a slam dunk.  But if Mitt “war is heck” Romney keeps vomiting out more jingoistic war whoops, that seven-point lead might get a lot wider.

Exhibit A: JPMorgan Chase

JPMorgan Chase — among others — almost sent the global economy plunging off a cliff in 2008.  Apparently it was so much fun, they want to do it again.  Or to paraphrase Chubby Checker, come on let’s crash and burn again like we did four summers ago.

When a pampered trust-funded fratboy takes the keys to the family Mercedes and crashes it, he doesn’t want to be told he has to give back the keys.  Some of these fratboys grew up (chronologically anyway), became Wall Street CEOs and almost collapsed the world economy.  And they’ve fought tooth and nail against ANY attempts to rein in the reckless behavior that caused the 2008 Meltdown.

And they’ve instructed their prostitutes in Congress to brainwash the public.  The 2008 meltdown was caused by too many government regulations.  This is just an excuse for Obama to take over your friendly neighborhood bank.  Etc.

And now JPMorgan Chase has kindly demonstrated exactly WHY we need to curtail Wall Street’s most reckless behavior.  Junior can have the keys to the family car — with certain stipulations — IF and only if he can clearly demonstrate that he’s learned how to drive.

As we all know by now, JPMorgan Chase lost $2 billion in a “trading blunder” which would have been prevented with the proper regulations.  Dodd-Frank is a start but it doesn’t go far enough.

Senator Carl Levin said JPMorgan Chase’s $2 billion “accident” was:

“…the latest evidence that what banks call 'hedges' are often risky bets that so-called 'too big to fail' banks have no business making.”

One of Wall Street’s favorite soundbites is that banking regulations would be too costly and the banks would have to pass on those extra expenses to the consumer.  Aw, isn’t that just the sweetest thing?  We all know how warm and fuzzy the big banks feel toward their customers.

In response to the above line of shit (and anyone gullible enough to swallow it), Barney Frank pointed out that JPMorgan’s $2 billion spasm cost them “five times the amount they claim financial regulation is costing them.”

He also said:

“The argument that financial institutions do not need the new rules to help them avoid the irresponsible actions that led to the crisis of 2008 is at least $2 billion harder to make today.”

The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) will be investigating JPMorgan’s $2 billion “oops I crapped my pants” moment.  Don’t hold your breath waiting for JPMorgan executives to start getting mass buttfucked by their fellow inmates at Rikers Island.

But it’s a nice gesture on the part of the SEC.

Scott Walker: “Divide and Conquer” Organized Labor

Uh oh, the cat’s out of the bag.  If you live in Wisconsin, work for a living, and you’re still planning to vote for Scott Walker this June — you’re either a masochist or dumber than dirt.

When he ran for governor in 2010, Walker convinced gullible voters that he only wanted to curtail GOVERNMENT unions‘ excessive pay and benefits; not private sector unions.  And the only reason he wanted to do this was because, well, he HAD to.  Wisconsin had an emergency budget crisis and he had to cut expenses any way he could.  There were painful decisions to make.

BUSTED!

A newly-released video from January 2011 shows Walker discussing his union-busting strategy with his largest campaign donor, billionaire Diane Hendricks.  In the video, Hendricks asks Walker if he would turn Wisconsin into a “completely red state, and work on these unions, and become a right-to-work?”

Walker replies:  “Oh, yeah.  Well, we’re going to start in a couple weeks with our budget adjustment bill. The first step is we’re going to deal with collective bargaining for all public employees, use divide and conquer.”

In return for this promise, Diane Hendricks donated $510,000 to Walker’s campaign.  This makes her not only Walker’s largest donor; it makes her the largest campaign donor in Wisconsin history.

Remember now:  when Scott Walker was running for governor in 2010, he never ever said one word about collective bargaining for unions.  He said he was going to reduce government employees’ wages and benefits, but this was only because of Wisconsin’s huge budget deficit.  Walker had been in office for a month before he ever said anything — publicly — about collective bargaining.  And he promised that this only applied to public unions.

And now the lying sack of shit has been outed.  A business manager from Operating Engineers Local 139 recalled his conversation with Walker:

“Scott Walker told me directly that he believed in prevailing wage.  I tried to hold some dialogue with him when the collective-bargaining issue went down. I am a union man. I believe in collective bargaining. The one thing he assured me, time and again, is that he believes in private sector unions. I don’t know whatever beef he had with public sector unions. But he said he believed in private sector unions, and that’s why I believe I have no reason to believe that right to work would be a threat from his office.”

Fool me once…

Working people of Wisconsin — no more excuses.  You can’t plead ignorance this time.  On June 5th, go to your voting booth and scrub that shitstain out of the Governor’s Mansion.

Rush Babes for America

Conservative women have had it up to HERE with these relentless attacks on their hero, Rush Limbaugh.  It all began when that birth control-pill-guzzling trollop from Georgetown started saying mean things about Rush.  Since then, armies of Femi-Nazis, aided and abetted by the Liberal Media, have been pummeling this poor man nonstop.

And now — Finally! — decent womenfolk are staging a counterattack against these godless floozies.  There’s a Facebook campaign called Rush Babes for America, and so far it has 22,000 “Likes.”  So there!

22,000 — hmmm, there are probably more people than that who have an elbow fetish and put turnips and mashed potatoes on their pizza.  Anyway:

This Facebook page is “dedicated to the millions of conservative women who know what they believe in: family, American values and not being told by faux feminist groups how to think.”

And that’s not all.  This campaign also includes some tantalizing pictures of Him.  [swoon]  For example, here’s a candid photo of Rush when he’s, uh, between public appearances.  (Betcha didn’t know how much makeup he uses when he’s out in public.)

And — are you ready for this — a naked picture of Rush.

oooooooooohhhh.  Are you tingling yet?  These are just a tiny sampling of the pictures of our Hero.  Well, what are you waiting for?  Go on over to Rush Babes for America, click the Like button and start ogling.

Gary Johnson for President

All together now:  “There’s no difference between the two parties.”  And now There IS.

Gary Johnson — aka 2012’s answer to Ralph Nader — is the Libertarian candidate for the White House.  He served two terms as Governor of New Mexico.

This is a little-known fact, but Gary Johnson was actually running for president on the Republican ticket.  Yes, THIS year.  Seriously.  The reason you didn’t know that is because the media kept pretending he wasn’t there.  Everyone jokes about Ron Paul being ignored by the media, but Ron Paul was treated like a Hollywood celebutante compared to Gary Johnson.

Republicans love to preach about “individual freedom” and “limited government,” but come on, it’s just a soundbite.  It has a nice ring to it, but you’re not supposed to take it literally.  And then along came Ron Paul and Gary Johnson, actually MEANING it when they said “limited government.”  This made things a little awkward for the Warmongering Biblehumping wing of the GOP.  Hence the cold shoulder from the “media.”

I personally could never vote for a Libertarian candidate.  I sort of have this thing for funding the infrastructure, protecting the environment, providing job training for laid-off workers, stuff like that.

But for millions of voters who want the government to just go away — no more funding for the infrastructure, the safety net, the Pentagon, the Prison-Industrial Complex — there’s finally a choice.

If you think people are unemployed because they’re shiftless and lazy and they can just hurry up and die, AND you think The Handmaid’s Tale is a blueprint for America’s future — vote for Mitt Romney.

If you want the government to stop “meddling” in the economy AND stay the fuck out of your “morals” and personal life — vote for Gary Johnson.

Republicans Defeated in France and Greece

To paraphrase one of the Right’s favorite soundbites:   Austerity has never worked.

Voters in France and Greece have spoken.  They said No.  Austerity for 99% of the population + unimaginable wealth and splendor for one percent = electoral defeat.  Hopefully the same thing will happen to GOP politicians who keep trying to increase “defense” spending, reduce taxes for millionaires and cut infrastructure spending to the marrow.

Sarkozy, like his conservative counterparts in the U.S.,  tried to win votes by pushing the Bigotry and “Christian Values” buttons.  How’d that work out for him?

The European election results are a positive sign for 99-percenters everywhere.

Bryan Fischer Tells Romney to Bend Over, Then Yells at Him for Bending Over

Bryan Fischer, Grand Wizard of the American Family Association, was the ringleader of the Biblehumpers’ slander campaign against Ric Grennell, Mitt Romney’s foreign policy advisor.  Ric Grinnell — who is openly gay — resigned from his position after being dragged through the mud by the Salem Witch Hunters.

Romney did his Milquetoast best to pander simultaneously to moderate Republicans and Biblewipes.  He “reluctantly” accepted Ric Grennell’s resignation.

And now that Bryan Fischer has succeeded in getting Romney to jump through hoops, he’s condemning him for jumping through those hoops and being such a wuss.  Fischer said:

“If Mitt Romney can be pushed around, intimidated, coerced, co-opted by a conservative radio talk show host in Middle America, then how is he going to stand up to the Chinese? How is he going to stand up to Putin? How is he going to stand up to North Korea if he can be pushed around by a yokel like me? I don’t think Romney is realizing the doubts that this begins to raise about his leadership.”

Something to think about.

United Nations: U.S. Should Return Sacred Lands to Native Americans

Uh oh, something just hit the fan.  This is gonna get America’s racists and xenophobes whipped into a frenzy.  That dull roar you’re hearing is the sound of millions of “U.N. Thugs!  Agenda 21” inbreds having a mass hissyfit.

A United Nations human rights investigator, James Anaya, has recommended that the United States return control to Native Americans of the lands they consider sacred.  This recommendation is NON-BINDING — in case that’s any consolation to the above-mentioned inbreds (it won’t be).  The recommendation was made after Anaya had spent twelve days conferring with U.S. officials and tribal leaders in Alaska, Arizona, Oregon, Oklahoma, Washington State and South Dakota.

James Anaya said:

“I have heard stories that make evident the profound hurt that indigenous peoples continue to feel because of the history of oppression they have faced.  It is clear that this history does not just blemish the past, but translates into present day disadvantage for indigenous peoples in the country.  There have still not been adequate measures of reconciliation to overcome the persistent legacies of the history of oppression, and that there is still much healing that needs to be done.”

These abuses include (but are not limited to):  Seizure of people’s lands, people being prohibited from speaking their native language, children being seized and taken from their families, and countless treaty violations.

This is the kind of thing you read about in Third World dictatorships and think to yourself how horrifying this is, and how can a government be so brutal and inhumane.  But it’s OK when WE do it.

Adam Yauch — R.I.P.

Adam Yauch — aka MCA — was one of the founding members of Beastie Boys.  He has passed away, at age 47, from cancer.

Beastie Boys were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame just this year.  Adam Yauch was unable to attend the ceremony on April 14th.

When I first heard their mid-eighties hit “Fight For Your Right to Party,” I thought it was the most retarded thing I’d ever heard.  I still do.  But I kept hearing and reading good reviews of them.

A friend gave me a tape of their mid-nineties album “Ill Communication,” and I was hooked.  Their synthesis of rap, punk and R&B (plus a few other ingredients) is addictive.

Adam Yauch also founded Oscilloscope Laboratories — a recording studio — and Oscilloscope Pictures, a film distribution unit.

Beastie Boys were heavily involved in the Tibetan Freedom Concert — a series of concerts throughout North America, Asia and Europe from 1996 to 2001.

Lt. Governor David Dewhurst — Bleeding Heart Liberal Pussy

Texas Lt. Governor David Dewhurst is trying to pass himself off as some sort of conservative.  I tell you what, Boy — maybe some of them homo blue states would call you a “conservative,” but here in Texas you’s just another minority-coddling liberal.

This boy been disgracing the office of Lt. Governor for going on ten years, and now he wants to represent the Great State of Texas in Washington DC???  Hail No!!!

We’re finally getting rid of that damn RINO Kay Bailey Hutchison (she’s a woman, ‘nuff said) now that her Senate career is wrapping up.  And now that yellow-bellied sidewindin' Dewhurst boy wants to take her place?!?!?

OK, so the boy’s got a few conservative credentials, but nowhere near enough for Texas.  Let’s go over his record:

Self-made multi-millionaire:  Check.

Agrees that fetuses are sacred up ‘til the moment of birth:  Check.

Wants to push them queers back into the closet:  Check.

BUT:

Promoted a few Nigras and wimmins to leadership positions in the state senate:  Red Flag!!!

That does it.  The boy’s a traitor!  That soft squishy RINO boy is wrong for Texas and he ain’t gonna be representin’ us in that there Washington DC.

Surfing Religious Websites = Computer Virus

Neener neener neener.  It’s pretty much a cliché by now that pornography sites are a computer virus waiting for a place to happen.  Would you believe:   religious websites are three times as likely as porn sites to be booby trapped with drive-by malware.

According to Symantec’s Internet Security Threat Report, pornographic websites are ranked at number ten for malicious code being dumped on unwary visitors.  (The article doesn’t give the ranking for religious sites.)  Symantec blocked 81% more cyber attacks in 2011 than in 2010.  Nice trend we’ve got going here.

And Jesus said:  “iexplore caused an Invalid Page Fault in module”

“The Politics of Sight”

That’s the title of this column by  David Sirota.  The politics of sight — as in “out of sight, out of mind.”  His column refers to a book titled Every Twelve Seconds by Timothy Pachirat.  Every twelve seconds is the cattle-killing rate at the average slaughterhouse.

What if the only way to purchase meat was to walk through the slaughterhouse, or down long aisles of livestock animals crammed so tightly into their cages they don’t even have room to move.  Would you change your diet?  Or if nothing else, maybe you’d be so appalled and sickened, you’d only patronize local non-factory farms.

The food syndicate is thriving on the public’s “out of sight out of mind” oblivion.  This is why Iowa — and other states are expected to follow suit — has passed an “ag gag” law, making it illegal to take clandestine pictures inside a slaughterhouse or factory farm.  (This will be the subject of a future profanity-laden post.)

With all of the advantages of our modern life, there’s one glaring drawback:  We’re completely isolated and sheltered from the horrifying realities that make these conveniences possible.  We’re just basking away inside this comfortable little bubble.  Ignorance is bliss.

War is another example.  The one and only lesson our “leaders” learned from Vietnam was:  Don’t broadcast these gory pictures into people’s living rooms.  sssssshhhhhhh!!!!  During the Persian Gulf War, how many times did you turn on the news so you could find out something — anything specific — about how the war was going?  And all you ever saw was a bunch of colorful explosions.  It looked like a Fourth of July celebration over Baghdad, night after night.  And these pretty pictures were always accompanied by a slick soothing voiceover which told you absolutely nothing.  Lesson learned.

This lesson has been improved and upgraded and fine-tuned to the nth degree for our Afghanistan and Iraq quagmires.  These past ten years have brought total devastation to tens of thousands of soldiers and their families — plus of course the hundreds of thousands of dead and crippled civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan.  And yet probably 99% of the American public is completely isolated from the horror.  For people who are interested at all, it’s something to argue about on the Internet, or maybe see a passing mention of it in the daily paper or the evening news.  And those “mentions” are getting fewer and further between.

And you’ve gotta love this Free Trade and the millions of cheap electronic gizmos that we can all buy.  Every time you turn around there’s a newer better cheaper one.  And we can remain totally unaware of the millions of American jobs that were outsourced and the millions of seven-year-old slave laborers who are making these gadgets for us.

Supposedly there’s a new app where you can see inside the Chinese factory where your smart phone was assembled.